one day at a time

fun.

2012-01-30T11:09:00.000-06:00

i had a really fun weekend.
here's a sneak peaky.
LOTS more to come. :)

big stuff.

2012-01-25T09:32:00.000-06:00

i'm strutting around this place like i'm big stuff.
yesterday i received an email telling me our registration dossier is on it's way to davis' country.
can i just tell you how long this has been coming?
since JULY.

i had the first draft ready to go, notarized and waiting in july.
and then the forms were changed.
little changes here and there.
and things had to be redone.
so i did it.
and then i did it again. and again, and again, and again.
and now, well now, none of that matters.
we are on our way again.

i admit i am not feeling as courageous now as i was in the beginning, but there are little bursts of hope and love and courage, and they continue to propel me forward.
yay! we are moving forward.
i'll keep you posted.

coffee sisters. the etsy shop.

2012-01-22T18:45:00.000-06:00

good evening y'all.
hope you had a nice weekend.
we sure did.
remember that laundry pile?
done and done.
remember those magazines?
read and devoured.
remember anything i talked about on friday?
no, well, me neither.
haha.

ok, i guess it's time for the real reason i'm writing today.
ben boy has a big announcement to make.
and no, it's not that he has food stuck all over his face!

our new etsy shop is now officially open for business!
my bff tricia and i put our heads together, usually over our morning coffee, and this was the result.

coffee sisters.
a fun place to be.
i hope you stop by and find something you love.
we will be refilling every chance we get but for now, this is a good start.
and of course, if you want something special, please let us know.
SO HAPPY!

talk to y'all later!
be safe out there my southern friends.
looks like the weather tonight could get nasty.
be safe.

friday randoms.

2012-01-20T08:45:00.001-06:00

a stack of magazines came this week.
bh&g.
boden.
paper source.
coastal living.
good stuff.
still haven't had a chance to look through them yet.
don't worry, we have a hot date tonight, my magazines and me.

***

there's a lady that works in my building that dresses kinda crazy.
yesterday she was wearing a debbie gibson hat.
you know, like this:

and she was wearing four or five inch white high heels.
and mc hammer pants too.
i just don't get it.
and she parks in the handicapped parking spots so i'm always thinking (and probably very wrongly) thinking that she is doing so illegally.
she bugs me, that lady.

***

every day after work i make this snack.

it's so yummy.
plain or vanilla yogurt with a spoonful of peanut butter and honey and bananas stirred in.
try it soon and prepare to be hooked.

***

i spent a few hours one night this week looking at all the things i've pinned on my pinterest.
some really good stuff on there, if i do say so myself.

are you on pinterest yet? tell me!
i want to follow you!

***

remember when i did my house tour at heather's blog?
do you remember how nice and clean my laundry room was?

well, those days are over.
i can't see the floor and the clothes pile is making its way out the door.
it's gotten so bad that my mother has offered to help.
she obviously hasn't seen how bad it really is or she would be running down the street screaming.
i have no shame.

***

what else...
hmmm...
oh yes! tax time is coming.
if you donated to our reece's rainbow account and received a receipt, please don't forget to add that on your tax forms.
so many of you have donated to a reece's rainbow family this past year, or charity water, or free wheelchair mission etc, don't forget to claim it as a deduction!

***

well guys, friday's here.
we made it to the weekend.
makes me feel AWESOME.
you are awesome too.
just for being here.
thank you!
have a wonderful weekend my friends.

weird.

2012-01-19T08:51:00.000-06:00

it's kinda been a weird week.
poor benny boy has been sick.
i think it's a virus, but man alive, it sure is hanging around for a long time.
last night john and i were both worried about him, then this morning he wakes up hungry and ornery right from the start!
this is where having a nonverbal kid really throws a wrench in the system.
if only he could tell us what hurts...
anyways, little prayers would be extremely helpful!

work is weird too.
i feel so easily distracted and it's been really difficult to concentrate.
i have such a short attention span...shorter than usual anyways.
finding myself thinking of davis all the time, praying for his wellness and health, praying for the Lord to calm my anxious heart.

soooo, anyways....
i bought myself a new case for my iphone and it's fab.
love, love, love!
it's the little things in life, i tell ya!
i do need to know though, since when are phone cases so pricey?
i also loved these cases too. (it was so hard to choose!)

let's see, what else is new?
i got nothing.
just the same old same old for this thursday morning.
have a great day.

pottery barn, the torture.

2012-01-17T18:17:00.001-06:00

oh man, the pottery barn spring and summer catalogs are out.
they are filled with such temptations.
over-priced, gloriously styled, beautiful images...
oh the torture.

sometimes i feel like i am their one and only target audience.

i daydream through the catalog pages, dog-earring all my favorite pages.

these people are geniuses.
yep.

i really dream about making my home a pretty, light-filled, stylish and homey place.
this pictures are an inspiration.

soooooo, what stores and catalogs inspire YOU?
tell me! i would love to know!

just to remember...

2012-01-12T21:20:00.000-06:00

tonight anna finally lost her front tooth.
it has been hanging on by a thread for a few weeks and frankly, it was annoying me.
well, tonight, as we were eating dinner at my mom and dad's house, she bit into a piece of bread and it was a dangling, bloody mess.
she saw the blood and lost her mind.
i walked her to the bathroom and while pretending to try and stop the blood, i gave the tooth a teeny tiny tug and out it fell.
tears turned into smiles and the boohooing, like a switch being flipped, stopped instantly.
thanks be to God.

*****

i was in the bathroom this afternoon while josh and ben were playing.
all of a sudden, loud screaming squeals were heard echoing through the house.
it was soooo LOUD.
i ran out to find ben laughing and running.
i asked josh, "what was that squealing??"
josh smiled and said, "those were squeals of JOY, mom!"

*****

it is freezing here and snowed all evening.
we were still at my folks for dinner, and the kids were acting loud and wild (are you seeing a theme here?!).
josh and anna were picking on each other and anna started acting sassy, sassier than her normal sassy.
my dad wasn't having any of it.
he told her, "if you don't stop that, i'll go outside and throw your tooth in the snow and you'll never be able to find it!"
i was shocked and surprised he would say something like that.
and then i got hysterical laughing.
i guess he told her.

*****

that's all for tonight.
i need sleepy.

the boys.

2012-01-11T09:13:00.000-06:00

listen, these boys are an interesting breed.
they are a mix of rough & tumble and super sensitive.
they like jumping.
they like to push boundaries.
they like to be messy and wild.

but they also like to be together.
they like to snuggle.
they like to tickle.
they like to growl at each other and laugh.
they like to wrestle and giggle and pretend to fall on each other.
they like to hide under pillows and blankets and pretend they are in a fort in the middle of a great battle.
they have a style all their own, a language all their own, a love all their own.

i can only imagine how crazy things are going to be when we add another boy to this famiy.
crazy indeed.
crazy good.
my boys.

196.

2012-01-09T15:25:00.000-06:00

this weekend, a very important picture circulated many of the adoption blogs i follow.
i thought you might like to see it too.

196 orphans found families last year.
196!
that number astounds me!
i can't stress enough how important organizations like reece's rainbow are.
they are changing lives and opening the eyes of thousands of people.
of course, the Lord has his hand all over this.
and i am BLESSED to bear witness to the beauty...

i pray that next year, when the collage is made and the totals are tallied, that a little boy named davis jupin is among the many.
i pray that we will continue to be blessed by the outpouring of love and support from you too--it means everything.
i pray that maybe one of you will click over to reece's rainbow and fall in love, head over heals, and imagine the difference you can make in one year's time.

i certainly did not think i would be on this path, not even once, before i saw davis' face and felt God's nudge.
and believe me, like my friend ann says, "i'm no one special."

don't be so quick to make excuses...
your child might be there.
your calling might be there.

listen.
open your heart and listen.

just a few things.

2012-01-04T21:12:00.000-06:00

we mailed out some more adoption documents to be officially apostilled (sealed).
then it's off to davis' country.
happy dance!

***

ben was a crying mess this afternoon.
i still have no idea why.
he was mis-er-a-ble.

***

anna and josh have been singing the macarena dance song (from a million years ago).
do you remember that song?
funny stuff.
josh makes up his own words, his own dance moves and then finishes with, "oh, macaroni!"
i showed them the real dance on youtube and they were mesmerized.

***

josh keeps asking me over and over again, "do you like me? do you love me?"
where is this coming from?

***

report cards come home tomorrow.
dun dun dun...we'll see who earns video game time and who doesn't.

***

are your kids obsessed with club penguin too?
i don't get it.
i watch them laugh and have fun playing on that website but i still don't get it.

***

it is really, really cold outside.
maybe you need a new cowl or scarf or hat?
stay tuned. my friend tricia and i are working on some fun things for our new etsy shop.
it should be up and running in a couple of weeks.
(lots of nail biting goin on over here!!!!!!)

***

anyways, just trying to stay busy enough to distract my every waking thought off of davis.
trying to stay energized enough to keep those winter blues at bay.
trying to stay disciplined enough to not continue the yucky eating habits i made over christmas break.
trying to get back into a happy blogging routine.
just trying.
you know?

at least a new parenthood was on this week.
that helped.
:)

back to the grind.

2012-01-03T10:22:00.000-06:00

it was so tough to get up this morning.
my body is not used to 5:30 a.m.
it was a mad scramble out the door and even then i forgot my purse.
when i was finally on my way, i felt rushed, tired and miserable.
turning out of my development and joining the traffic, i realized i wasn't the only one thrown back into real life today.
i drove along, listening to the news and decided to turn the radio button so that a cd would play.
mumford & sons happened to be playing.
food for this tired soul.

i drove along, the cars moving at a good pace, the sun coming up over the hills.
as i reached the crescendo during "roll away your stone", the sun filled the entire sky and i promise you i felt a warm calm rush over me.
it was comforting and reassuring.
and i felt like crying.

it seems that all my bridges have been burnt
but you say that's exactly how this grace thing works
it's not the long walk home that will change this heart
but the welcome i received with the restart

it's a new year.
i am not quite ready but it's here nonetheless.
i am making some resolutions, little hopes and promises for myself.
i am ready to lean on Him and become all that He wants me to be.
i am ready.

family time.

2011-12-29T20:20:00.000-06:00

my favorite aunt, uncle and cousin are visiting.
so far it's been loud and full of laughter.

we sure are a noisy bunch.
we all talk past one another, talk over one another, laugh hysterically at each other.
we do laughing very well.
another thing we do very well is eating.

when my family rolls into town, we hit big bob gibson's.
almost always.
ribs, bbq, brisket, smoked turkey, oh my.
we told the waitress, "forget the rolls. bring more meat!"

tonight was a feast.
with some of the best people on the planet.
goodness, i love these people.
they are MY people.
love them.
how can we possibly top this tomorrow?

christmas.

2011-12-28T21:10:00.000-06:00

last minute shopping
the santa clause
last minute wrapping

baking
it's a wonderful life
elf
two HUGE donations to davis (thank you kate and nat!!)

egg nog
ham
lasagna

kindle fire
bow and arrow
elmo
ipod touch
ukulele
new jammies

decorating books
a new puppy (for uncle jay)
a christmas carol

late nights
lazy days
brisk walks

clean craft room
neatly folded fabric

cold rain
connect four
twinkle lights

pine needles
paperwhites
toy story

julie and julia
reese's peanut butter cup cookies
painting
snowman ornaments
turkey

you've got mail
little smokies
apple cider

prayers
dreams
wishes

and now it's all over.
the christmas bins came out and most of our treasures have been put away.
the tree is still up.
for now.
as much as i love christmas and everything that comes with it, i am anxious to move forward.

2012 is right around the corner.
i think it's going to be an awesome year.
the year we bring home davis.
the year i start an etsy shop (coming very soon!)
the year i put our health and happiness above all else.
i can't wait.

merry christmas to you, sweet friends, and a very happy new year too!
thank you for cheering on our family this past year and for being such a big source of encouragement and support!
xoxo!

merry christmas!

2011-12-24T19:53:00.000-06:00

two more days!

2011-12-23T13:59:00.000-06:00

the days have seemed very long, full of anticipation of what's to come.

the children are excited and anxious.

i need one more day of baking and one more trip to the grocery store.

john and anna are going shopping this afternoon.
for their sake, i hope the crowds aren't too bad!

ben is happy to be home, happy to play with his brother and sister and to be able to stay in his jammies all day long.

i am planning a jammie fest these next few days for myself!

hooray! christmas day is almost here!

we all need God.

2011-12-22T17:27:00.000-06:00

i needed to watch this today. (thank you patti!)
it moved me and filled my heart.
i can't urge you enough.
WATCH THIS, please.

thank you.

2011-12-19T16:08:00.000-06:00

wow.
you girls have really come to my rescue!
i am completely overwhelmed by all of your positive and uplifting comments and emails to last night's post.
thank you!

when i was a little girl, my grandmother had a small placard in her kitchen that read "never judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes."
i remember thinking, as a kid, that it didn't make any sense at all.
of course now, as an adult, i am constantly reminding myself of just that--i know why my grandmother had it hanging in her kitchen, as a friendly reminder for her!

i think that's what i learned most about this little experience--that we should not assume we understand situations about others when we haven't "walked a mile in their shoes".
it's so easy to make quick decisions, snap judgments, assumptions that we know and understand where people are coming from.
i see it so much in the blog world, i guess because we read about the details of others' lives so we feel like we KNOW them.
but really, what is written on a blog is such a small part of someone's life, just a tidbit really.
we are all guilty of it but i realize now just how hurtful it can be.

so, thanks.
i love and appreciate each and every word of kindness.
makes my heart happy!
:)

{i can't, for the life of me, do two posts in a row without a pic!
here's what my saturday morning looked like, my sunrise view from the sofa.
oh winter sunshine, you are welcome any time!}

anonymous comment.

2011-12-18T21:11:00.000-06:00

tonight i received an anonymous comment here on my blog.
a person visited our page intending to donate to our adoption fund.
she read a post about how my husband and i decided to punish our oldest, typically-developing child for lying to us by making him spend the night in his room without tv, video games, computer time, etc.
because of that decision, she decided we were unworthy of a donation.

HMMMM.

i have sat down and written a response to this no less than three times, but the more i write, the less i feel the need to explain.

my husband and i know the whole story and WE decided on his punishment.
it is our job to raise him how we see fit--not necessarily how others, who do not know anything about us or about him, see fit.

and while i appreciate the honesty, i do not appreciate the anonymous comment.

thank you for the consideration.
we do appreciate each and every dollar donated.

next time though, please feel free to email me directly (click on the email me button over yonder -->) and i'll be happy to discuss my child's pre-teen behavioral issues with you in detail.

now, if you'll excuse me, i'm going to pray, long and hard, for the curse words in my head to go away...

just some thoughts tonight.

2011-12-15T20:51:00.000-06:00

10 days til christmas.
wowsers.
going through my phone to see what's been catching my eye lately.

our christmas tree.
anna's new nightgown.
scribbling down some thoughts in carline.
stocking up on cookie mix to make julie's awesome cookies.

finally, some sunshine.
awesome finds at the g-dub.
sleepy ben boy.
homemade tuscan bean soup with spinach and sausage.

*******

ben is almost completely potty trained.
he does sooo good during the day but he's not ready for night time just yet.
but he is getting there!
as with everything else with down syndrome, it is happening in ben's own time.
another lesson in patience.
;)

anna's new nightgown is from the etsy shop, the baby duck.
i convoed the seller and she graciously did a custom order for me.
i can't say enough about the quality and sweetness of this nightgown!
i'm pretty sure she couldn't make you one by christmas, but wouldn't these be great bday or valentine's day gifts?
trust me, remember this shop. it is adorable.

josh got in big, big trouble tonight.
he lied to me and then continued to build a wild story to cover up his lie.
that is one thing i just can't handle.
so he is grounded for two days.
and he just might be raking the entire back yard this weekend too.
he laid in his bedroom tonight, in the dark, so filled with sadness.
i almost gave in and let him come downstairs with all of us, but i knew i had to stay strong.
it's my job to teach him.
it's so hard to follow through, isn't it?

*******

i just wanted to say thank you for all the kind words and prayers.
i don't think my friend ever knew how much he inspired others and how much people thought of him as a person.
i think that's why his death hit home so much.
but it is getting better.
slowly but surely.
i hope y'all know how much i appreciate all of you for taking the time to comment and send me a note.
it really meant so much.

twinkle lights.

2011-12-14T18:08:00.000-06:00

i'm still feeling so sad over losing my friend.
going to work feels weird.
being at work feels weird.
my work family is in mourning.

today, i overheard our custodian learning of the news of wade's passing.
she kept saying, "no! no! NO!" out loud, over and over again.
i felt like throwing up.
the loss is still so fresh...

at home, my head and eyes are tired.
i have no energy at all.
but today i couldn't handle the mess any longer.

i scrubbed the kitchen for over an hour.
it feels good to have a clean sink again.
now if only i could find the bottom of the laundry pile...
one day at a time, right?

after i cleaned the kitchen, i got out the scrapbook paper and cut out some stars for the big kitchen window.

the kids helped me hang them up.
i decided we needed more twinkle lights.
"meanwhile, i'm putting on more twinkle lights."
name that movie.

they are definitely helping to cheer me up.

a sudden loss.

2011-12-12T08:05:00.000-06:00

this weekend i lost a coworker and friend.
he passed away suddenly, leaving us all asking questions and struggling to make sense of it all.
he was a good man--a man that loved the Lord, his wife but most of all his grandchildren.
they were his greatest blessings.
he would come into my office, plop down in the guest chair and tell me stories from their weekends together.
he followed them to all of their sporting events, no matter how far he had to go, and gave them 100% of himself.
when he spoke of them, his eyes filled with tears.
every time.
this was a man who knew love, in the grandest and most encompassing sense.
this is the legacy he now leaves behind.
i am so grateful for the advice he gave me.
and i will miss him so.

thought of an inspired mommy.

2011-12-10T08:41:00.000-06:00

i wrapped presents last night for three hours.
i wrote out all of our christmas cards and got them ready to go.
i put away ingredients for christmas cookies and now my pantry shelves are bulging at the seams.
i tucked away dozens of stocking stuffers for the kiddos, and set joseph the elf up in the sneakiest of places.

i am doing all the things i should be doing this time of year, preparing our home for the holidays.
but something just doesn't feel right.
no matter how busy i am, i keep feeling like i'm forgetting something, like something is missing.

this morning i opened my computer and read a new post by susanna on the blessing of verity.
and there it was: a smiling miss katie bird in a sweet pink headband, slowly recovering from the last NINE years of neglect and malnourishment.
my heart exploded and tears were everywhere and i realized why i still feel so empty inside.

i miss davis.

i want him here with us.
i want to be his mommy and dress him in santa jammies and give him homemade christmas cookies.
i want to be wrapping gifts for him and warn him not to peek.
i want to see his eyes light up at the neighbor's christmas lights or listen to him giggle at a singing snowman stuffed animal.

this christmas season, i have been blessed by so many things.
and i feel so lucky; these blessings truly feel like gifts from above.
and i know in my heart that davis will be safe soon.
we will do whatever he needs, we will do whatever he needs.

but there are so many orphans who need so much.
who will do for them? who will feel led to help?
i need you guys to understand how important this is.
these children have nothing, absolutely NOTHING of their own.
WE NEED TO HELP.

i'm not implying everyone should adopt.
no, that's not for everyone and i get that.
but there are other things you can do.
donate money,
spread the word,
tell others what you've read and seen,
PRAY.

this holiday season can seem tough, so much to do, so much to spend, so much to want...but let's not forget the reason.

i am watching a miracle happen in katie.
it has inspired me in a way that i didn't see coming.
it has inspired me to love davis more deeply.
it has inspired me to believe in the Lord in a way that i haven't allowed myself before.
it has inspired me. period.
it is my prayer that it will inspire you too.

today i am going to wrap a gift for davis and place it under the tree.
he won't open it until next year but it will be there for him all the same.
he is a part of us and we will miss him until he is home.

dinner and joseph.

2011-12-08T20:52:00.000-06:00

the kiddos have been really, really good.
sure there have been lots of arguing and picking on each other, but they are so excited for christmas, i think they could burst.

{eating dinner together. ahem.}

plus our elf, joseph, has returned and has been keeping them on their toes.
i just wish he would quit with all the stunts he pulls.

the other morning we found him under the tree like this.
(pinterest has been outstanding at giving us ideas!)

the kids believe in all the christmas magic and i'm so grateful.
the elf, santa, mailing letters to the north pole, reindeer, all of it.
there have been many questions this year about what so-and-so said at school and what they have heard from their friends.
thankfully the magic is still strong and sparkly, and neatly wrapped in the kiddos' wide, bright eyes.
it makes me sad to thank it's not like that for all young children.

ben boy has ear surgery.

2011-12-05T15:00:00.000-06:00

my sweet little one had tubes put in his ears on friday.
we had an early start, a long wait, and a quick and successful procedure!
fingers crossed that this helps ben in the long run and no more ear infections!

waiting to talk to the doctor, a little scared but looking handsome as ever in his little gown.

watching little einsteins to pass the time.
thank goodness for technology!
(we also brought our ipad which was a lifesaver! you can only sing itsy bitsy spider so many times!)

waiting patiently for my baby.
the entire procedure took about ten minutes.
as soon as i sat down, they called us back to get him!

we were sent home with a surgie bear and some apple juice.
ben actually wanted nothing to do with the bear but they gave it to us anyway.
don't worry, he's been added to anna's massive stuffed animal collection so he's just fine.

a little nap and some snuggles, and ben was HUNGRY!
he couldn't eat or drink anything before the procedure so he went hog wild.
two plates of spaghetti, a pop tart, a few bites of mommy's lunch and two cups of juice.
even then, i think he would have ate more if i would have let him!

little bits.

2011-12-04T20:17:00.000-06:00

i was just sitting down to write about our nice and chill weekend.
i did a little bit of decorating and some much needed straightening up.
i maybe kinda sorta made the kids play outside because i just couldn't take the mess any longer.
anyways, just as i sat down and cracked open the laptop, the kids started arguing and complaining, and right now i'm dealing with some serious pouting.
seems to me like it might just be bedtime.
so for now, here are a few pictures from the nice and chill weekend.
despite how it feels at the moment, these are proof that it really did exist.
:)

a couple things to note, quickly...

i made THESE cookies from julie at joy's hope.
they are sooooo good.
you must try them for yourself!

edie is having a linky party for christmas goodies all week long.
i will definitely be checking it out for some foodie inspiration.
check it out here.

i wrapped a bunch of presents today and am feeling quite proud of myself.
but i still haven't found that one perfect gift for john yet.
i need ideas!!
please help!

lastly, thank you for your encouragement about ben's recital.
i'm sure we've all been there.
why is it so hard to do what we think is right for ourselves, why do we feel like we have to please others so much?
something i've really been thinking about lately.

xander.

2011-12-03T18:01:00.000-06:00

christmas is all about giving.
i would love it if you would head over to jeannett's and check out this GINORMOUS fundraiser/giveaway for a little peanut named xander.

i am smitten.
and you will be too.
let's make this xander's last christmas in an orphanage without a family!

tough decisions.

2011-12-02T20:20:00.000-06:00

last night was a big night for my ben boy.
y'all know that he attends a special dance program for kiddos with special needs.
and last night was their big christmas recital.

we took him to rehearsal, got him all dressed up in his reindeer costume, waited for what seemed like eternity, and finally watched him rehearse on stage.
but ...
he did not perform at all.

instead he refused to stand up, wouldn't do one motion, sing one note.
instead he SOBBED. hugged his helper and sobbed.
he was scared of the lights, scared of the people, scared of the loud music.
he did not like it one bit.
no, he despised it.

i sat helplessly in the audience, my stomach in knots, tears welling up in my eyes, thinking all the while, "why are we doing this?"
other parents told us it was ok, he was ok, their kids did the same thing, trying to comfort us.
but deep down, i felt sick the entire time.

after rehearsal was over, john and i talked to his helper.
she said he cried the entire performance and the entire time he was back stage.
she looked so uncomfortable and sad for him.
we looked at each other and i knew.
we were going home.
there would be no performance.
not this year anyway.

we grabbed our little reindeer, gave our apologies, and escaped out the front door.
i felt so badly for everyone, ben included, but it was not his night.
leaving, although guilt-inducing for me, was exactly what ben needed.
as we buckled him into his car seat, he instantly seemed happy and peaceful and RELIEVED.

sure, we could have stayed, forced him to go through it all again for the performance, but this was one of those decisions where as parents, we had to do what was right for ben, and not what may have been right for everyone else.

so ben's recital wasn't what we thought it was to be.
but that's ok.
we survived and thankfully, it's over.
:)

30.

2011-11-30T19:01:00.000-06:00

this morning, at 3:15am, john and i were both awake.
arguing.
over the most ridiculousness ever.
i finally fell asleep at 5:00.
my alarm went off at 5:40.
ugh.
my eyes have felt like i have sandpaper on them all day.
i drank three cups of coffee and a large sweet tea.
didn't help one bit.

in the car this afternoon, josh told me that my music was lame.
LAME.
i told him he can play his cool music when he has his own car but now it's only lame music all the time!

a friend stopped by tonight that i haven't seen in forever.
she asked me if i was going to have a baby and rubbed my flabby belly.
she was laughing, joking about how we passed our fertile month already (which is very true) but i think she was for real.
john thought it was hilarious.
i think we may be having another argument at 3:15am tonight.
whatever.
***********************************************************************************

so today is the last day of november.
why do the days seem to fly by?
i remember as a kid thinking it took forever to get to december every year.
now as an adult, it comes in a flash.
and then it's over and it's another day again and then another year...

sometimes i stop and think, how in the world am i 36 years old?!
and a mother too?
and a wife?
oh my goodness.
i'm a chubby, lame, grouchy, arguing woman!
what is happening to me?????

i need chocolate.
**********************************************************************************
30. today i'm grateful for another month, another day, another moment in this blessed life i'm living.
i am not perfect and live a flawed life.
very flawed.
but i am grateful for each and every moment of it, the slow, the fast, the tough and trying, the splendid, the inspiring.

29.

2011-11-29T21:16:00.001-06:00

today i'm grateful for my computer.
it provides me with endless inspiration and motivation to make my house better than it is.

all of these pics are saved on my hard drive so i apologize if i don't give proper credit.
enjoy!

i want to make something similar to this for my staircase.

i love the simple branches and faux snow. from heather bullard.

the ribbons and ornaments, hung from the curtain rod. cottage living.

the letters and starfish. fun.

pinecones and pine boughs. but these pinecones are dipped in paint. and i love the striped ribbon. from angela at the painted house.

these stocking are adorbs. found on etsy here.

and this kitchen feels like home. found on restyled home.

so what about you?
are you getting in the holiday spirit yet?
what are your inspirations?

28.

2011-11-28T18:24:00.000-06:00

i took this picture a couple of weeks ago with my iphone while in the drive-thru line at a mexican joint.
when i uploaded the pic, i was so impressed with how sunny and beautiful it looked.
it's so sad that all the leaves have since fallen and blown away.
winter is already here, and with it the cold and damp and darkness.
we have got to get some christmas decorations up around here or i may go mad from the darkness!!

28. today i'm grateful for leftovers and an early bedtime.

thanksgiving.

2011-11-27T08:08:00.000-06:00

today i'm grateful for...
24. a husband who loves to cook and tinker in the kitchen.
25. online shopping in my pajamas with a big cup of coffee by my side.
26. dinner delivered to our door. thanks mom and dad!
27. a quiet, dark, rainy morning and candles in our windows.

i am getting better very slowly.
this infection is awful and doesn't want to go away just yet.
i'm still taking things easy and trying to ignore the laundry pile.
tomorrow starts a very busy week for our family--so much on the calendar!
i'm praying that i feel up to it.

here are a few glimpses of the past week or two.
hope y'all had a wonderful weekend.
three cheers to sweat pants and jammie bottoms!!

this year's thankful tree in the foyer,

setting the thanksgiving table with anna.
she was very particular on what went on the table and what didn't.

handmade place cards. by miss anna, of course.

wonky camera settings that captured things just perfectly.

see what i mean?
i love the blur and softness.
the people at this table are my most favorite ever.

dancing in the kitchen to the avett brothers.
giggles and hugs and more dancing.

i'm still here.

2011-11-23T08:00:00.000-06:00

i've been sick.
and tired.
i think i have the flu.
the flu stinks.

i have spent many, many hours watching horrible daytime television.
why anyone would possibly like a soap opera is beyond me.

cooking shows are great but they make me hungry.
i've been watching them for tips on the perfect thanksgiving dinner that i want to be able to make this year--if i'm able to stand up for more than 10 minutes at a time.

decorating shows are gone!
nonexistent.
why all the real estate shows? why?

this is the first time i have opened my computer since saturday!
wow.
i am hoping to catch up with all of you soon too.
i've so missed reading blogs!

well i must list my gratitude for the week so here goes.
today i'm grateful for:

17. uplifting words. from friends and from strangers.
18. a dog that lets me know when a package is on my front step.
19. christmas letters to santa which include things like a hamster, a puppy, a new brother, and a great time.
20. thoughtful big sisters who happily keep little brothers occupied and happy
21. sleep.
22. doctors who think ahead and really want to help.
23. parents who are willing to do so much for us.

hope y'all have a great and happy thanksgiving with your friends and family!
(here's an oldie but goodie pic for ya. can you believe the kids were once so little??)

15. & 16. and designs for davis.

2011-11-16T17:27:00.001-06:00

today (and everyday really) i am grateful for the wonderful friends i've made through the years.
most recently, three friends decided to bless me yet again with their generosity and love.
hop over to heather'sto check it out.
ashley ann and meg wrote about it too!
we are beyond grateful.

*************************************************************************************

this commercial makes me choke up every single time i watch it.
i'm excited for thanksgiving this year--one week to go!
(and if you can believe it, only 38 days until Christmas too!)

14. and cute stuff for christmas

2011-11-14T19:50:00.000-06:00

today i'm grateful for the safe return of my boys, john and josh.
they spent the weekend away (more on that later).
2200 miles and more than 38 hours of driving later, and they came back this afternoon.
so happy they're home!

***********************************************************************************

so to continue on with some "cute stuff for christmas", the boys edition...

i think shopping for boys is incredibly difficult.
every thing is overpriced and pretty darn ugly, if you ask me.
except for all things boden, but that falls into the overpriced category, so boo.

here are my picks for this year.
josh is 9 years old, so again, this is for his age range.

these slippers from old navy are hilarious.
(and they are going to be anna's gift to josh this year)

and i like these pj pants too.
it's hard to tell, but they are bigfoot/ape dudes with 3-D glasses on, eating popcorn.

i also really like these sherpa lined hooded sweatshirts from walmart.
i really like the camo and navy ones.
they are identical to the sweatshirts boden sells but they are $35 cheaper!!
sorry, i can't seem to copy and paste a pic off the walmart site.

for the little guys (ben-sized), they sell these cute shirt and pants sets.
i bought ben the penguin and the dinosaur.
they are MUCH cuter than these cheeseball pictures. trust me.

there is a new diary of a wimpy kid out tomorrow!
amazon has the best price, as usual.

other cool books are

darth paper strikes back: an origami yoda book.

cut & assemble paper dragons that fly.

and this club penguin joke book.

josh is so into these halo lego sets.
this one is on his wish list.

land of nod sells some cute stocking stuffers too.
head lamps are fun.

and so are these handheld pinball games.

and these robot stencils are pretty fun too.

some other things on josh's list:
an ipod touch
candy
a puppy
a little brother
a fun time.

seriously.
oh my.

happy shopping!

12 & 13. and cute stuff for christmas

2011-11-13T19:54:00.000-06:00

this weekend i'm grateful for breezy warm weather, well-behaved kiddos, snuggling with anna in my bed, and pioneer woman's twice-baked potatos.

*********************************************************************************

the christmas shopping has begun.
i have found a few cute things that so i thought y'all might like them too.
a few years ago i did a "cute stuff for christmas" post and it was so popular!
here are some of this year's picks for the GIRLS!
keep in mind, my daughter is seven and these picks are for her age group.

slippers from old navy for $12.94

this outfit from children's place. (sans the boots)

the dress is $17.97 and the sweater is $20.
they also have a deal right now for an extra 15% off.
i also love this ballet slipper necklace and this jeweled bracelet.

anna loves this ice cream cone best friend necklace set from justice.

i also found a ton of cute bff sets at children's place on clearance--some for just $2.99!--wouldn't that be a perfect gift for your daughter to give her bff?

this new toy called bizu are all the rage right now.
and at $11.99 this is a great price for the set.

this list would not be complete without something crafty and cute.
i am really liking these items from land of nod.

origami faces kit.

this make-your-own-snowflake kit.

anna also wanted me to tell you a few things that she would like from santa:
barbie clothes
modeling clay
easy bake oven refills
movie passes and big box of movie candy
the new holiday barbie (only because she loves her earrings)
and a journal.

hope this gives you some ideas and gets you in the mood to shop.
i am having a hard time but it's a start!

tomorrow night i'll post some ideas for boys.
sleep tight!

10. & 11.

2011-11-11T12:15:00.000-06:00

10. today i'm grateful for preschool teachers who are so patient with my potty training boy. he stayed dry in his big boy underpants all day!

11. today i'm grateful for the help of this sweet girl.
she is not always the easiest to deal with (mostly because she is so much like me!) but she is a wonderful sister and daughter and i love her more than she will ever know.
i think her big brown eyes are the prettiest i've ever seen--even when she's pouting.

sleepy.

2011-11-09T20:20:00.000-06:00

9. today i'm grateful for a sleepy little boy who is struggling with the time change.
he has fallen asleep on the sofa or chair three nights in a row now.
we all giggle while he twitches as he falls deeper and deeper asleep.
the older children tip toe over to the sofa quietly, and peek at him, and say things like, "mommy, he's so cute!"
john picks up his limp little body and carries him up to his bed.
but not before i plant a few kisses on his soft chubby cheekers.

days 5-8.

2011-11-08T17:18:00.001-06:00

#5. today i'm grateful for the soft billowy fog that rolled in last night and stayed til mid-morning.
it sure made it easy to stay in our jammies for most of the day.

i'm also grateful for a large white envelope that came in the mail.
we got our golden ticket! (aka the I-171H form from immigration)
we are slowly but surely making our way to davis.
next up, registration dossier!

#6. today i'm grateful for the end of josh's football season.
i have a feeling coach jupin is grateful for that as well.

i'm also grateful for pumpkin waffles.
and recipes that make so many waffles, we happily share with neighbors!
i think they were quite grateful for them too!
the gift that keeps on giving!
:)

#7. today i'm grateful for the amazing ability to see just how messy our house is and how desperately it needs a good cleaning.
apparently i'm the only one in my family able to recognize this!
isn't is amazing?
i kid, i kid...(sort of)

today i'm grateful for a morning full of daylight.
this waking up every morning in the dark stuff was for the birds.
but this morning, the sun was up and shining brightly as i took the kids to the bus stop.
welcome back morning light!
we've missed you!

#8. today i'm grateful for my bestest friend on the planet.
my most favorite person ever.
the cutest boy i ever saw.
my husband john.
today is his birthday and i'm most grateful to be able to celebrate another year of his life.
he's pretty much awesome.

day 4.

2011-11-04T18:34:00.000-05:00

4. today i'm especially grateful for:

--ray lamontange radio on pandora.
i danced around the living room when into the mystic (van morrison) came on.

--this video natalie posted.
you can't help but smile when you watch it.
it's magical.

--crafting, even if it's only for a few minutes here and there.
today i made hand-stamped christmas ribbon.
creating makes me so happy.
even if it's just simple ribbon.

darkness.

2011-11-03T16:41:00.000-05:00

3. today i'm grateful for the moody rainy darkness that settled in this afternoon.
it rained just enough to cancel football practice and kept my little family all snuggled up together.
some days, i wish the rain away.
but today i was grateful for it.

lub voo.

2011-11-02T19:35:00.000-05:00

2. today i'm grateful for our bedtime routine, clean warm beds and blankies, and a little teeny voice that says "lub voo" (love you).
even in the dark, i can almost hear his smile as he says it.

with a grateful heart.

2011-11-01T20:26:00.000-05:00

for the month of november, i'm going to take it easy here on the blog.
i can feel myself falling into a bloggy rut, putting pressures on myself, much to do, not enough time or energy or desire.
so this month, i'm going to focus on blogging simply and with a grateful heart--by listing at least one thing i'm grateful for every day.

1. today i'm grateful for friendship and laughter.

i had lunch with a group of ladies that are all so special to me.
stacey came a long way (all the way from germany!) and kathy cooked a delicious lunch for us all.
we laughed until we cried.
it was food for my body and my soul.

i can't stand the cuteness.

2011-10-31T19:58:00.000-05:00

i know they are my children so i'm sorta biased and all...
this halloween was really special for us.
ben did great, the kids were adorable and well-behaved, and we were all home by 7pm!

more to come later!
especially of my favorite cowboy!
happy halloween!

2011-10-28T11:24:00.000-05:00

this morning i was cleaning out my google reader.
so many blog posts that i would love to read, but just not enough time in the day.
i almost hit the button "delete all" but decided to skim through quickly to see if something caught my eye.

i found a post from my friend natalie that i hadn't read.
i clicked over to find sweet pics of her family on a trip to a farm.
there were pictures of her littles climbing mountains of mulch, feeding animals, riding horses.
the everyday sweetness that we treasure.

she also wrote these words:

Some may wonder if I am dissatisfied with my life, or if I would change it if I could. I never knew my life could be this good. Dissatisfaction and change are the furthest from my mind.

i just couldn't agree more.
so many times, people have asked me what it's like to have a child with down syndrome.
they think of me as someone SPECIAL or someone KINDER than them.
and i think i understand where they're coming from--i think we are all most comfortable being around people who are most like us.
but here's the kicker, kids with down syndrome are just like us!
no foolin!

down syndrome is this teeny tiny part of my life--sure, some days it feels like it's everything, but so does having a bad hang nail!
these kids are GIFTS, as are all other children, typical or not.
they are gifts to be treasured and loved and guided.

dissatisfaction and change are the furthest from my mind.
truer words have never been spoken.

home.

2011-10-27T08:20:00.000-05:00

i'm feeling a little bit anxious about this but...

our home is being featured today over at heather's lovely blog!
please hop on over and say hello!

oh, i just love this.

2011-10-26T18:05:00.001-05:00

and this

and this too.

all from here.

oh my sweet boy.

2011-10-25T14:27:00.000-05:00

today i was blessed big time.
i have to tell you that God is working hard to keep me focused,
to remind me of exactly what His plan is for me.

just when i start to waiver, to lose my way, to begin to complain again...

He led me to a website i haven't looked at in months.
and there, i found these updated pictures of my sweet boy!

i am crying yet again.
oh how i needed to see him again.
he's growing.
he is much bigger than the last photos.
he has teeth!
and chubby legs!
(i'm sure the chubbiness is relative, but he does look healthier!)
he has spunk!
i can see it!

yes, Lord, i am listening.
i feel so blessed that you would choose me.
thank you for being patient with me.
i will get my head out of my behind and trust you fully.
you know this is something i struggle with but i am working on it...

tonight i also read about katie davis' book, kisses from katie, here today.
it is now in my amazon shopping cart.

My family, adopting these children, it is not optional. It is not my good deed for the day; it is not what I am doing to 'help out these poor kids.' I adopt because God commands me to care for the orphans and the widows in their distress. I adopt because Jesus says that to whom much has been given, much will be demanded (see Luke 12:48)...
-Kisses from Katie

maybe you need to read it too.
i have a good feeling about it.

country living fair 2011.

2011-10-24T20:25:00.000-05:00

there are so many reasons why i loved this year's country living fair.
the number one reason, of course, is that i got to spend it with awesome family and friends.
my aunt sue and my mom are two of the best people i know.
tricia is like a sister to me.
and aunt pat (aunt sue's cousin) was so much fun and up for anything.
and we sure laughed and carried on a whole bunch too.
just what i needed.

anyways, i'm not feeling the best tonight so i'll go ahead and post a bunch of pictures.
the booths were decorated so lovely and full of pretties.
i hope y'all enjoy them!

the vendors were really, really good.
after doing my own show a few weeks ago, i really looked at things differently, from another perspective.
lots of good ideas that left my heading spinning!

next year the fair will be in ohio, atlanta and in austin, texas.
wouldn't it be fun to pick one, meet up and hang out?
i'm game if you are!
:)

the fair.

2011-10-22T19:32:00.000-05:00

i just returned home from the country living fair.
this quilt was in a stack with many other beauties.
for some reason, this one was my favorite.

everyone's hungry.
my dog buck wants to lick me to death.
ben has a stuffy booger nose.
anna told me she hasn't had a bath since i left.
josh is mad that i didn't bring him a present.

even though i had a great time, it's so good to be home.

p.s. thanks so much to anna (lasso the moon) for more donations to davis' fund!
we are so grateful for your help and love!

tonight's thoughts.

2011-10-19T20:35:00.001-05:00

is it too early to make my christmas wish list?
it is?
ok, just one thing for now.

these bowls.
(i know, i need another bowl like i need a hole in my head but come on!)

******************

do you read edie's blog?
remember when she lost her home in a tragic fire last year?
she has spent the last year rebuilding her home and her life.

it's been a blessing to ME to be able to follow her journey of recovery.
she has been showing sneak peeks of her new home all month long.
it's sick.
i love every detail.
every stinkin detail.
i'm so very happy for her.

*******************

one week ago today, a friend from college's husband passed away.
he was 37 years old.
fighting cancer for 13 long years.
i never knew him.
but reading all the kind words written about him and his amazingly lovely obituary have my head reeling.
we are not guaranteed anything in this life.
when it's my time, what will people have to say about me?
am i kind?
am i fun?
am i inspiring?
what have i done to benefit others?
am i really a good person?
he was.
and many, many loved him.
this part of his obituary made me sob.
i have thought about this passage so many times in the last week.
"...He taught us to make passion a priority and to sacrifice for what you believe in. Ruben married Jennifer Snavely November 6, 2010, and nothing in life made him happier than his wife. They cherished each other and every shared moment. They were a united team in his battle with cancer, at the same time not allowing cancer to get in the way of a beautiful friendship and life together. Beauty and Grace exemplified and personified. Their lesson to us is to choose one another every single day, to never leave anything unsaid, and to live and love every day with no regrets."

his beautiful spirit lives on...

**************************

one last thing but it's a biggie.
a family adopting (from the same region as we are) is having some issues.
the judge presiding over their case has been kind to to them but doesn't agree with their desire to adopt TWO children with down syndrome.
she believes two children would be too difficult.
she has the power to deny their adoption, or only allow them to adopt one of the children.
they would have to choose which one!
they go back to court tomorrow (2 or 3am tonight) and could really use your prayers!
would you please pray for the judge's heart to be moved by their plea, to believe in their abilities and desire to make them a part of their family, and to allow them to adopt both children?
many prayers are needed.
thank y'all.

recorder.

2011-10-18T14:48:00.000-05:00

in fourth grade music class, all students learn to play the recorder.
this was something i actually dreaded for josh.
the recorder?
no way he's gonna like that.

yea, um, wrong again, mom.
he loves it.

so far he has mastered three songs and is working on his fourth.
he knows each note and how it should be played.
he has practiced on our back deck almost every night and has taught anna how to play too.
(her recorder was a prize from the dentist's office)

sure, it won't last forever.
but this is yet another time in my journey through motherhood where my child has surprised me, proven me wrong and taught me a lesson.

monday.

2011-10-17T14:22:00.000-05:00

it's monday.
oh, is it ever.

i just watched john walk into the airport and said goodbye for a day or two.
my right arm feels like it was just cut off.
we are a team and i hate it when he's gone.

these next few days are busy busy.
anna has a performance at school.
ben has a special luncheon.
then there's football and gymnastics and dance class.
and did i mention i leave on later on this week to go to the country living fair?
busy.

can someone please tell me where the heck the month of october went?
i'm in shock that today is october 17th.

so what have you been up to?
what are your plans for the week.
tell me.
i'd love to know!

p.s. isn't this the sweetest pic of ben?
he was playing on the porch and listening to josh play his recorder for school.
guess he liked it.

halloween banner.

2011-10-14T14:28:00.000-05:00

i'm addicted to banners, pennants, garlands.
i want to hang them everywhere.
john doesn't get it.
:)

last year (or was it two years ago now?) i made this quick and easy banner to hang in our kitchen.
totally stole the idea from brilliant sarah.

i printed out picture of the kiddos in their halloween costumes over the years and attached them to a long piece of twine with some mini clothespins.
you could add some leaves or twigs or bittersweet (oh if only i had some!) or acorns etc. to embellish it a little.

right now it's hanging above our windows next to the kitchen table.
the kids like to remember their costumes and giggle at themselves ("look how little i was, mom!").
such an easy and quick little project that makes me smile every time i look at it.
i wonder if josh would let me dress him like a sweet little lamb again?
sha.
right.
as if.

feeding me today.

2011-10-13T09:57:00.000-05:00

this song.
it's taken over my head, stuck on repeat.

this beautiful post by ann voskamp.
HERE.
as with most everything she writes, i need to reread it over and over again to digest all of it.

this song.
it's tragic.
it hurts.

and the soothing, comforting words of encouragement from friends like
her
and her,
and very much from her.
these women continue to bless me even when i don't deserve it.
true friends.

it's been weird.

2011-10-12T19:14:00.000-05:00

it's gray and gloomy outside.
all day i've felt kinda weird.
funky.
not exactly much of anything in particular.
just kind of blah.
i'm blaming it on the weather.

i've been getting antsy to buy something new.
i don't need a thing, but i want.
i want and i want and i want.
it's awful.

right at this very second i want to take a nap but that's another story.

we received a longggggg list of documents we still need to provide to davis' country and i'm feeling overwhelmed.
i've looked at that list ten times and still don't know where to begin.
adoption is hard.
i feel like satan is lurking close.
john and i are going to sit down this weekend and put together a plan of what needs to be done when.
i think having a plan will help ease my nerves.
i dreamt of davis last night and he was so scared.
he had light brown hair that glimmered and his skin was flawless.
he felt so soft.
when i woke up i kept thinking how real it all felt.
he felt so close.

then i dreamt that john cheated on me and didn't care about the kids.
so i think i must be losing my mind.
it's official.

ummm kay.
what exactly is this post about anyway?
how about some halloween decorating anna and i did this weekend?
nah.
i'm done.
couch is calling.

recap.

2011-10-10T08:32:00.000-05:00

we are enjoying a nice long weekend.
the weather has been the best of the entire year.
warm and sunny days, cool and breezy nights.
this is what people in the south live for--we've finally made it to fall.

you would think with all this gorgeous weather that i would be a picture-taking fool.
nope.
not at all.

i did manage to snap a couple of my boys the other day.
they are blurry and awful.
i love them.
the pictures and the boys.

when i see these pictures, one thought comes to mind:
GOD DOES NOT MAKE MISTAKES.

my boys are happy.
they are rotten and loved.
they are brothers.
not to be so sappy all the time, but i think these things often.
i can't myself. i am an emotional, crying mess 49% of each day!

*******
wigs.

i was digging through the halloween bins when i came across these wigs.
oh my.
these are from a few wild halloween parties before we had kids.
the boys slipped them on and starting posing.
john almost peed himself laughing.
he could not breathe or talk.
just laugh.

*******
my baby girl has been having some jealousy issues lately.
wishes she could be a baby again.
she is the middle child and the only girl.
she has a soft, squishie heart.
she can cry at the drop of a hat.
extra snuggles and praise are in order.

the least i can do is curl her hair and buy her new boots.
we did both this weekend.

*******
we received a beautiful card and a donation to davis' fund this weekend.
tears were shed. a lot of tears.
we are now $500 closer to our goal!

thank you so much D & M!
just having you as friends is a gift.
knowing you are praying for us is a blessing.
we knew from the moment we met you, 13 years ago!, that you guys were something special.
kindred spirits.
i know you know, but we love you crazy lady.
big time.

i'll help you break the walls down.

2011-10-06T12:38:00.000-05:00

thank you heather mattos for pinning this on pinterest.
i sobbed at my desk at work while watching.

in honor of national down syndrome awareness month, and in honor of my little ben boy, please watch this.
i promise you, it just might make your day.

together.

2011-10-06T07:54:00.000-05:00

being a mom is a hard thing.
some days the kids are happy and smiley and well-behaved.
some days the kids are cranky and bored and down-right naggy.
yesterday was a tough one.

after school i took all the kids with me to ben's dance class.
josh had other plans--plans he and his friend had concocted during school.
he forgot all about ben's class.
so i ruined everything.
he was miserable and rude, and very much tested my patience.

anna on the other hand was lovely.
ben's class was running low on volunteer helpers (everyone is gone on fall break) so she stayed with ben and helped out.
turns out, she loved it.
and now she wants to volunteer every week.
i was so proud of her.

josh, well, not so much.

this morning, even though the first day of our fall break, all the kiddos piled in our bed before the sun even came up.
i snapped this awful picture on my phone as i was standing in the doorway of the bathroom.

this is real life.

some days are good.
some days are not.
but we are all in this together.
no matter what, we find ourselves together, through all of it.
and oh my goodness, thank God for forgiveness!

well, it's time to start my day.
i need more coffee.
here's to a great day together!

guest posting.

2011-10-05T10:04:00.000-05:00

hey y'all.
today i'm over at natalie's beautiful blog, sharing a bit about my boys.
hop on over and say hello!

could her family be any cuter??!! not possible!

what did i do to deserve this?

2011-10-03T18:53:00.000-05:00

i ask myself that all the time.
i just can't fathom, for the life of me, what i ever did to deserve such support and generosity.

two inspiring and lovely ladies are hosting fundraisers for our adoption fund.
they have such giving hearts.
even though we are technically strangers, these amazing women feel compelled to help us.

words do not even do justice to the humble feelings i have.
i know, whole-heartedly, that this is God showing up in a big way for us yet again!

chrissie grace is doing a monster giveaway on her blog.
a HUGE bundle of her handiwork is up for grabs.
all you need to do is make a donation to our reece's rainbow fund.
ANY AMOUNT.
$1.
she will throw everyone's name in a hat and choose a winner!

during the month of october, natalie falls is giving anyone who donates $25 on her blog their choice of a handmade hairband or hairclip.

beautiful, aren't they?
what's even more beautiful is that natalie will be collecting donations on behalf of sergey (the farley family), isaac (the kelley family) and davis (us).
three little boys, all born with down syndrome, all from the same region, all with families working hard to get to them.

will you please consider making a donation to these efforts?
it would mean the world to me and to these three little boys!
xoxoxo!
thanks, friends!

three crafty girls.

2011-10-02T11:01:00.002-05:00

a few months ago, while enjoying an early coffee break at work with two friends, an idea was hatched.
what if we did a craft show as a fundraiser for our adoption?
we could each make things we liked and all profits would go to davis.

my two selfless friends were all over it.
in fact, if it wasn't for their enthusiasm and support, i'm not sure i would have had the guts to do it at all.
but we did it.
and man, it was such a HUGE success!
we raised...are you ready??

$1094!

i counted three times just to be sure.
and each time i was sure i made a mistake.
these wonderful friends banded together and gave me a gift that i will surely never be able to repay.
a gift that means so much to me.
and sitting here typing this with tears falling down my face, i am feeling so grateful.

i know you want to see pictures, so here they are.
thanks to nancy noodle for taking most of them and for being the world's best re-organizer.

i have to say our customers were the friendliest and nicest group of folks i've ever had the pleasure of meeting.
everyone loved our things and made it known.
made me so HAPPY.
we are going to work on some business cards and maybe...an etsy shop.
or at least another show.
heather hamilton, i know you will be pleased. :)

i can't finish this post without personally thanking a few people.
forgive me for making this into an oscar acceptance speech, but this needs to be said, for me.

jessica mccauley, amanda parker, glenn ferraro, elizabeth howard, melissa hill, heidi bobo, ladonna, kate (susan's friend who caught me with my mouth full of greek food!), deana aumalis, barbara breithaupt, nicole pelfry, tim horvath, carmine bailey and family, and many others that i'm sure i'm forgetting and i'm sorry for that, thank you for stopping by and supporting us.
seeing your friendly faces throughout the day was so comforting.

nancy, thank you for being the world's best greeter and for spending your saturday with us. love you so much!

tricia and cathy, thank you for working for months on your things and for putting up with my bossiness and ever-changing ideas! i love you both like sisters.

mom and dad, without your support this would have never happened. i love you so much!

john and the kiddos, thank you for ignoring the glue gun strings and fabric shreds everywhere and for giving me the time to make this happen. you are my inspiration and the best things i've ever made, ever.

ok, i'm done now.

enjoyed it.
really, really enjoyed it.
have a happy sunday.

p.s. mary b., the number shelf is about 38 inches long, 9 inches tall. email me if you would like one!

madison street fest.

2011-10-01T05:54:00.000-05:00

i hope to see y'all at the madison street festival today.
we'll be there from 8am - 4pm.
and even if you can't make it, would you kindly pray for successful day for us?
i feel like such a nervous nelly.
but it's all for Him. and him.

fast forward.

2011-09-29T16:07:00.000-05:00

i wake up every morning with thoughts of the most awesomest of blog posts.
and each night i fall into bed thinking of funny or silly or interesting things i could have written about.
but the days seem to be stuck on fast forward and i'm finding little to no time to sit at this computer.
next week will be better.
next week we get our federal fingerprints done in birmingham.
next week we are closer to a travel date, closer to meeting davis, than we ever have been.
next week will be better.
yes, yes.

just a couple of pics, mostly for danielle.
a few more crafts completed.
remember the button barrettes anna and i made?
they are now properly displayed.

and i found some cute inexpensive ruffle tote bags too.
dyed 'em and made cute felt flower pins to match.

now let's get saturday over with, shall we?

getting better.

2011-09-26T20:20:00.000-05:00

i have been really sick.
strep throat hit me early this year and it's been kicking my butt.
today i broke down and went to the doctor and got a shot.
and tonight i feel almost human again.
(random collection of pics i'm diggin for ya.)

ben hasn't been 100% either.
wonder if the little bugger got me sick.
but after a long round of bubbles on the back deck, he was laughing and carrying on like the ben boy i know.
then i gave him a big bowl of ice cream (why not?!) and he went to bed a happy boy.

the house is finally cleaned up.
i actually had a semi-breakdown on sunday because the mess was about to kill me.
i finally was awake long enough to notice that john had kicked it into survival mode and the kids were in weekend mode.
made me crazy!
so today i cleaned up.
and made cookies.
boom.

josh has bruises all over his little body from football.
he came up to me today and said, "hey mom. check out these new bruises on my back."
he thinks they are cool, like battle scars.
i think they look like the school is going to call us wondering what in the world is happening at home.
tackle football is no joke.
saturday john won his first game of the season after two tough losses.
you go, coach.

did i tell you we have three tree frogs?
josh bought two with his allowance! eek!
and then he found another little one on the playground at school and brought it home IN HIS POCKET!

anna and josh love the miller lite commercials--about taking your man card.
have you seen them yet?
the fish one and the bathroom one.
so funny.

just to let all y'all know, i will be at the madison street festival on saturday selling my crafty stuff.
we will be a couple booths down from the madison cafe.
i couldn't sleep last night thinking of what i need to bring to setup and what's left to do.
this weekend killed me. so i officially decided "enough is enough."

well, you know...for now.
i still have tuesday, wednesday, thursday and friday.
ok, just a few more things to do.
but not too much.
doris, i promise all the paint will be dry!

i just googled CRAFT FAIR BOOTH IDEAS.
oh crap.

ray.

2011-09-22T18:33:00.000-05:00

last week john and i celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary.
to kick it up a notch, john surprised me with tickets to see brandi carlile and ray lamontagne in nashville and a babysitter for the whole night.

so last night we drove to nashville and had dinner and drinks.
then we drove over to the grand ole opry house to see my ray.

i had never been there before, and i knew it was damaged badly during the big floods a few years ago but man, what a beautiful place.
it was decorated with these huge rustic chandeliers and large hanging flags.
i was in awe looking at the stage, thinking of all the famous people that have performed there.

and of course there were brandi and ray.
they were amazing.
beyond what i could have imagined.
and i was with john. by ourselves.
we held hands. we kissed. we had a few beers and listened to great music.
i even wore heels.
i felt more like myself than i had in years.
and i remembered what it felt like when we were dating and head over heels for each other.

truth be told, i almost didn't go.
ben was sent home from school sick on tuesday and still wasn't well.
he spent some of the afternoon crying and fevered.
i felt guilty.
i felt selfish.
and if john would have agreed, i would have stayed home.
even while getting ready to go, i felt like it wasn't the right thing to do.

but driving up to the concert, i knew it was what i needed to do for me.
and for john.
for us.
i need to remember that.
it's so important.

even though these pictures are somewhat awful (why does my face look so swollen everywhere??), the memory of this night is one of my favorites.
john and i celebrating 11 years.
best present ever.

my new favorite quote.

2011-09-20T21:45:00.000-05:00

out back.

2011-09-19T21:36:00.000-05:00

just some random photos taken in the back yard the other night.
i was inside painting and john took the kids out back to give me some alone time to finish up.
so glad he brought the camera with him because for some reason i really like these pictures.
maybe it's the awesome kiddos in them.
maybe it's the low, late afternoon light.
maybe it's how chill everyone seems.
anyways, i like them a lot.

anna had to wear her heels (aka church shoes) to swing.
well duh.

i love ben's chubby little piggies.
and how he gets down from the swing but can't unbuckle himself to get out.
when he gets stuck, i can't help but laugh.

ben likes to yell buh-BULLS!
and he jumps up high to pop them all.
anna is such a patient big sister. even when she's tired and bored she'll keep blowing bubbles for her brother.

speaking of bored, josh is always bored.
always.
especially when he has to hang out with his brother and sister and dad.
but oh, he's so funny and smart.
and i wish he would want to be with us more.
because we love to be with him.
and that's about all i have to say about that.
:)

a little bit more.

2011-09-18T18:54:00.001-05:00

i painted a few more canvases this weekend.
danielle suggested fancying up a few of the little ones and making some bigger ones.

i really enjoy making things like things but i have to admit i wonder how people do it all the time.
it's a lot of work!

the kiddos are outside skateboarding and my dad just got here to watch the eagles game.
the dishes are piled HIGH in the sink.
i made pioneer woman's steak sandwiches (onions on the side) for dinner.
they were delish.
tell me you are watching pw's new food network show.
i love it.
the kids love it.
john pretends it's ok, but secretly he loves it too.
i made her cherry limeade (where is that recipe on her blog?) today too and it tastes just like sonic.
but better.
i know.
that's major.
but it's really yum.

ok, everyone's inside now, the house is instantly LOUD and the kids are filthy dirty.
and hungry.
so i best be going now.
nighty night.
i'll try and find the recipe for the cherry limeade.
it's killer.
bye!

thanks melissa!
here's the recipe for cherry limeade.

giving.

2011-09-15T18:08:00.002-05:00

yesterday, on my way to pick up ben from school, i made a pit stop at sonic.
i bought us a cherry cream slush to share.

when i got up to the window to pay, i decided, on a whim, to also buy two more--for ben's teachers.
just a little something to thank them for spending their days teaching and loving my busy boy.

the funny thing is, i was in the worst mood driving to sonic but the thought of surprising someone with a gift changed the whole afternoon for me.
giving, even something small like a cherry slush, makes me feel good inside.

what could YOU do today to make someone else happy?

p.s. the canvases and chipboard letters from my last post were bought at michael's. both are 50% off this week. :)

simple canvases.

2011-09-14T13:15:00.001-05:00

more crafting.
this time something super simple.
chipboard letters and painted canvases.
with pictures taken late at night in the most dreadful lighting.
but you get the idea.

i had all kinds of plans to embellish them.
glitter, fabric flowers, etc.
but i kind of love them the way they are.
some of my favorite words.
simple.
sweet.
yep. i kinda like 'em.

and the crafting continues...

notes.

2011-09-13T12:51:00.000-05:00

to whom it may concern:

several items today that are of note.

1. parenthood starts tonight. 9:00pm central time. game on.
2. starbucks pumpkin spice lattes are back.
3. this website has some neat stuff on it. i really like this picture.

4. and lastly, my friend renee just met her new daughter.
and i can't look at this picture without crying tears of joy.

renee, i am praying for you each and every day.
please forgive me for swiping your picture--it is too beautiful not to share.
paisley girl, you are loved.
this is just the beginning!

now, get back to work.
thanks for your attention to these matters.

sincerely,
management

number shelf.

2011-09-12T14:47:00.004-05:00

last week i showed my dad this cute shelf from pottery barn kids.

he just shook his head. "who would pay $99 for that?" he asked.
"i'll make some for your craft show.
and he did.
sunday, my mom and i painted our little hearts out.
here's a sneak peek.
i'm thrilled with the result.

lots more where that came from!
i'll be showing some more sneak peeks at we get closer to the show.
in the meantime, i have more crafting to do.
ttfn!

september 11th.

2011-09-11T21:40:00.000-05:00

i spent the first few hours of my day glued to the tv, crying my eyes out.
remembering where i was on that day 10 years ago.

i was pregnant with josh, scared to death that my grief would cause another miscarriage.
i was sent home from work for my own security.
john and i watched tv for days on end.
we were waiting for the stories of search and rescue but sadly there were very few.
i remembered how i called all my friends from college, especially one working in manhattan at the time, and how i finally rested easy when i knew everyone was ok.
then late at night, my phone rang and the nightmare began again.
my best friend's college roommate was missing.
she worked in the north tower.
on the 100th floor.
no one had heard anything.
nothing.
a group of friends heading to the city to search.
all the hospitals.
emergency rooms.
triage.
makeshift medic stations.
nothing.
they made signs and hung them everywhere.
they searched and searched.
nothing.
jen would not come home.
my best friend would never be the same.
would any of us?
an act of hatred.
senseless.
i still shake my head in disgust, even as i write this.
the tears still fall so easily.
how can it be ten years already?

donations, ben, yucky house and craft night.

2011-09-08T17:57:00.001-05:00

this weekend we received three large donations for davis' fund.
a close friend gave $50.
it was her birthday and she chose to give to us.
how selfless!

another (newer) friend gave $2000!
she too is adopting so this donation was especially meaningful to me.
she understands our hardship and sacrifice firsthand. and still, she gives.
how selfless!

a blog friend gave $500!
she chose to donate her etsy shop profits to us.
she uses her gifts to help others, in all kinds of situations and circumstances.
how selfless!

to say i was overwhelmed by these donations is an understatement.
i pray for these women.
i pray for the Lord to see their kindness and goodness and to bless them.
i pray for the understanding and compassion to be more like them.
and i pray one day to be able to thank all of them in person.

***************************************************************

this wild boy has been a handful lately.
don't let these tired eyes fool you.

he has started hitting anyone or anything in his path.
sometimes that includes strangers' hineys.
sometimes that includes his school friends.
sometimes that includes the ipad.

he has been a potty training fool and was doing great!
but today his teacher walked him to my car this afternoon and he was wearing a new outfit and no shoes!
betcha can't guess who refused to go in the potty but then went all over himself as he was washing his hands.
pee pee shoes are yucky.

yesterday ben started a dance program for children with special needs called dance your dreams.
all the children in his class were shy, it being the first class and all, and they sat in a circle with their helpers.
but not ben.
he ran around the entire dance room like a wild barbarian.
one young girl tried getting him to sit in her lap--ben turned into a wet, limp noodle and that poor girl had no idea what to do.
he did a little better towards the end of the class, but i can bet all the helpers are thinking they would rather choose ANY of the other kids than be stuck with ben.
yep, he was that kid.
all i could do was laugh.
because it really was funny.
we'll try again next week.

**************************************************************

my house is grossing me out.
have you ever just looked around your house and thought "how in the world did it get so dirty?"
i spent an hour today just picking up stuff and putting it away.
i've decided we have way too much of everything.
it's insane.
and the worst part is that i'm constantly wanting more and more.
i am determined to clean out some cabinets and closets this weekend.
that's my goal.
at a minimum i have to do the tupperware cabinet--i can't open it with causing an avalanche!

**************************************************************

would any of you local ladies be interested in doing a craft night with me, as part of a fundraiser for davis?
if so, shoot me an email or message me on facebook, ok?
thanks.
xoxo

day trip.

2011-09-05T20:18:00.000-05:00

on friday i took a quick trip with my parents to a neat old little town not far down the road.
three things i'm grateful for:
retired parents,
retired parents who live one mile away,
retired parents who live one mile away who love to do things like this with me.

the town itself is very cool.
old streets lined with antique and junk shops.

heart palpitations.
shops full of bargains and ideas.
and super sweet southern hospitality.
the shop 'old things new' is one of my faves.

my parents are good sports.
they even posed in front of a chippy brick wall and let me take a few pics of them.
although i was given strict orders not to post them here.
maybe one day. if i get angry at them.
just kidding mom!
:)

after we shopped, we ate.
there's this cool restaurant called 'cahoots' that has great food and a great atmosphere.
and for dessert, homemade fried peach pies with vanilla ice cream!
who could possibly pass that up?

my dad.
trying not to smile.
while i embarrass him with my big ol' camera.
God love 'em.

just a little teeny taste of the funky that is 'cahoots.'
if any of my new jersey, kansas or washington state peeps come visit, we will be making a trip here for lunch.
y'all will LOVE it.
and the quiche is killer.

at the end of the day, we left with an old vintage mirror and a huge grain bucket.
both for my mom.
i couldn't believe i didn't buy a thing.
i am trying to save my money for davis boy.
and if that doesn't show you how much i love that kid, i don't know what would.

we will be visiting this little piece of americana again soon.
it just makes me happy.
as predicted, it was a great day.

this post may not be for you--the blessing of verity.

2011-09-04T13:44:00.000-05:00

i read this post at the blessing of verity today, while drinking my coffee and sitting in my favorite comfy chair.
instantly a huge lump came into my throat and i found it almost too hard to breathe, certainly too hard to swallow down the coffee, while tear after tear streamed down my face and onto my shirt.

this is hard.
it's hard to read.
it's hard to swallow.
it's uncomfortable to ask these questions of ourselves.
but it is important, i think, to push ourselves and ask the hard questions.

i hope you will read it and really think about it.
let it seep into your head and heart.

and davis, my baby, i can't wait until i can hold your hand.
my list has been crumpled up and tossed in the trash.

happy friday to you.

2011-09-02T07:15:00.000-05:00

thank you for all the uplifting and kind words the other day.
as soon as i hit "publish," the text messages and emails came in like lightning!
oh how i needed that!
it didn't take long and i was feeling more like myself again.

yesterday was a momentous day.
after work, and on my way to pick up ben from school, i stopped at the post office.
i marched in and mailed of our final copy of the home study to the united states immigration folks.

it seemed so normal, just mailing a letter, but it was so much more than that.
it was a BIG step towards getting our final approval and heading to eastern europe, to davis, for the first time.

i called john to celebrate but he was at work and couldn't talk.
i texted a friend but she must have been busy and didn't respond.
so i sat there, outside of ben's school...alone.
and i prayed.

it wasn't a long prayer, or anything eloquent, but it was a prayer full of gratitude.
so much gratitude.

we made it over a big hurdle.
it's done.
now we turn our focus towards gathering the last of the documents that davis' country requires.
and waiting (again) for fingerprint appointments.

today is a new day.
i took the day off from work.
i am sipping my coffee while ben plays with the ipad.
the older kids are on their way to school.
john is in the shower.
soon the house will be quiet and still.
there's lots to do: the sink is overflowing with dishes, toys on the floor, blankets to be folded, beds to be made, clothes to be washed.
something tells me i may be headed towards an antique shop or two later on.

i think it's going to be a good day.

eyes on the prize.

2011-08-31T15:25:00.001-05:00

today was not my best day.
and i should probably be smacked upside the head for even writing that because a lot of super sweet things happened to me today.

there was an envelope waiting for me in my work mailbox.
inside was a donation to davis' fund from an amazing young family.
sometimes people surprise the heck out of you, and these newlyweds so graciously surprised the heck out of me.
without sounding too mushy, they are some good people.

then my dear friend, who i love immensely, called me to walk me through some more adoption questions i had.
despite being waist-deep in this wild process herself, she always makes time for me and i appreciate it so much.

and yesterday we received our final copies of the home study and finally have our reece's rainbow status moved to "compiling dossier"--a huge milestone for us!

and just to top off the happy, tricia curled my hair all cute like and i walked around with a bouncy fun hairdo all day.

so why? why am i feeling so in the dumps?
dunno.
if i am being honest, i'm feeling a bit overwhelmed about the adoption process right now.

we are going to be writing some big checks soon and that's scary.
we have lots of paperwork to make PERFECT and that's scary.
we have to wait and see if there are any more changes necessary to the required forms and the waiting is about to kill me.
we need to do more fundraising but i am tired. i need a push. and i feel very lame.
plus, i don't know about you, but asking people for donations is one of my LEAST favorite things to do.
ever.
i would rather eat a worm.
(not really.)
but it makes me feel uncomfortable and yucky so i guess they're about the same.

so i'm trying to turn my face to the sun.
i'm trying to get my bearings about me and remember why i'm doing this in the first place.
i'm trying to set my focus on a little boy who needs me.

i'm trying to remember that i have friends, very generous friends, who are willing to help.
and i'm trying to find my voice.

tomorrow will be better.
it almost always is.

woof woof.

2011-08-29T20:29:00.000-05:00

it's no secret that anna's most favorite toy in the entire universe is a little floppy purple and white stuffed dog she calls woof woof.
that little doggie means everything to her.
he's her best friend.
her confidant.
her lovey.

this afternoon she told me it was woof woof's birthday.
"well then, i think he needs a hat!" i told her.

two minutes later, woof woof was sporting a birthday hat!
which worked out perfectly since she had also planned an impromptu bday celebration complete with a cake (stack of crackers), one yellow glitter candle, and many rounds of "happy birthday to you!"

fun stuff for a girl and her pup.

weekend happies.

2011-08-28T14:10:00.000-05:00

there were several moments this weekend when i was so full of happiness i thought i might burst.

like when ben leaned in to give me a kiss, turned my face with his chubby little starfish hands and planted a big one right on my cheek.
he laughed like what i would imagine santa claus laughs like, throwing his head back, his face flushed red.
he did this over and over again, and each time i gasped and smiled so big, which only added to his laughter.

like when anna stepped outside this morning and exclaimed so loudly, "come quick everyone! it feels so good out here on the porch. the new jersey hurricane sent us some of its wind!"
john and i looked at each other and cracked up.
she was dead serious and so delighted in the cooler weather we have had for the past few days.

like when i watched john coach his football team this weekend.
and i listened to how he praised the boys for their efforts.
he focused on the positives of the games and what went well for them.
how he led them.
he is awesome at being a coach. so much better than i ever could be.

like when josh and his friend marcus secretly called my dad and asked him to come pick them up so they could go hunting for some grasshoppers at his house.
five minutes later my mom picked up all the big kids and whisked them away for a few hours.
ben was asleep and the house was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.
john and i, both sunburnt and exhausted from the day's football jamboree, celebrated the quiet with coke floats while we watched football cuddled up together on the couch.

like when we returned home from the football games on saturday, my mom couldn't stop telling me what a good boy ben is and how well he played while we were gone.
then, just to show off a bit, ben went through three stacks of flash cards, naming and signing each one!
my parents were so happy and excited to hear him say so many words in such a short time.

like when john took all of the kids fishing this morning and i stayed home to cook a big breakfast.
my dad called to see what we were up to and i told him the kids were fishing.
he decided to go up to the pond too and they all came home just in time for belgian waffles, bacon, hashbrown casserole and eggs!
i love having a table full of hungry mouths and lots of good food to fill their bellies!

***************************************

i'm sitting on the back porch and the breeze is blowing.
the sky is blue and full of big billowy cotton ball clouds.
there are orange and black butterflies flitting all through our flower beds.

i keep thinking, over and over again, i am so happy to be alive.
it sounds corny, but i am.

some days i feel rushed and hurried, tired and sad, overwhelmed and annoyed, anxious and worried.

today is not one of those days.

i feel...thankful, grateful, settled, peaceful.
so i'm going to shut down this computer and enjoy it while it lasts.

have a glorious sunday.

i love you most.

2011-08-25T19:49:00.000-05:00

this homemade card sits on my windowsill, over my kitchen sink.
and it makes me smile every time i do the dishes or wash my hands.
i know one day anna won't love me the way she does now, and i won't be the center of her world anymore.
but for now, i'm trying hard to soak it in, to tatoo it on my memory and on my heart, and to surround myself with little reminders of how wonderful my little girl is and how much i love being her mommy.

snap shop winner!

2011-08-24T20:03:00.000-05:00

who inspires you?
that's the question i asked you to answer to enter ashley's snap shop giveaway.
i LOVED your answers.
the next time i'm having a bad day, i am going to reread them all!
so thank you for playing along.

the winner of the snap shop giveaway is

congratulations!
jen g., please send me your email address so i can get you in touch with ashley.
have fun with the class.
i know you'll love it!

and a BIG thank you to ashley for...everything. :)

she likes to paint.

2011-08-23T21:01:00.000-05:00

painting is a constant with her.

watercolor paints, glitter paint, acrylics, you name it.

there is an artist in this girl.

and i never, ever want her to forget it.

i'm a sewing machine. no, wait, a sewing MACHINE. you know what i mean. now i'm rhymin. oh never mind.

2011-08-22T16:13:00.000-05:00

i spent the weekend with my sewing machine.
we have really bonded.

a couple of months ago i convinced two friends to do a craft show with me as a fundraiser for davis.
they were all over it.

and every day, they come to work with something pretty they've made.
necklaces, flower pins, hats, scarves, etc.
and i sit there, nodding my head, trying on their goodies, oohing and aahing.
as i make NOTHING.

not good.
not good at all.
but this weekend i made up for my lost time and lazy weekends.

i sewed 21 pillows.
i made two chalkboards.
i painted a chair and reupholstered the seat.
anna and i made button hair clips together.
there is a HUGE pile of pillows in the craft room. (this is just a few!)

first i cut and cut and cut.
some of the fabrics i had for months.
it was almost painful to cut into them at first.
i am a recovering fabric addict.

it's pretty obvious that i am attracted to bright swirly patterns and lots of ruffles.
who knew?

and today my arms are sore.
from cutting and SEWING!
sad.
so sad it's almost funny.

so what's my next project...i'm not sure!
but i'm sure i'll be hangin with my homey, my brotha, my bro--my sewing machine, silly!

little bucky.

2011-08-21T19:41:00.000-05:00

i made the mistake of asking anna to come with me to the thrift store.
i only needed to look for large picture frames and maybe any old linens or fabric (for the craft fair i'm doing in october).
she was so happy to come along.

we made our way to the frames and scored a perfect one.
$1. that's in my price range.
then we made our way to the fabric and bedding.

anna saw him out of the corner of her eye.
"hey look mommy! a little bucky!"
she rushed over and picked him up.
his ear was starting to come apart.
"oh nevermind, his ear is coming undone."

she set him back down on the shelf and started to walk away, towards me.

in the time it took her to take five or six steps, she had started to cry.
"no one will want him because he's broken."
she looked up at me with big tears in her big brown eyes.
her lip was trembling.

"well then, " i said, heart completely melted, "we better take him with us so he won't be lonely."
50 cents later...
that's the story of how my sweet baby girl came home with her 1,057 stuffed animal.
he's one lucky little dog.

snap shop giveaway.

2011-08-18T18:14:00.002-05:00

THE GIVEAWAY HAS ENDED! THANKS FOR ENTERING!

***************************************************

a few weeks ago i wrote about an online photography class that i was taking by the very talented and lovely ashley ann.

i have enjoyed every second.
i've had a dslr for a couple of years now but i really have not been utilizing it to it's full potential.
i love taking pictures and cross my fingers every time i press the shutter--because i am relying on my camera to automatically capture what i want.
even thinking about shooting in manual mode scares me to death.

photography intimidates me. ashley does not.

she is smart and knows her stuff.
but she is able to break down photography for the non-photographer, the beginner, the intimidated.
all you need is a dslr camera and an open mind.
ashley takes care of the rest.
her online class is BRILLIANT!! brilliant, i tell you!!
i can attest to that 100%.

luckily for you, ashley is giving one of you a spot in the september online snapshot class!

this prize is worth $200--a total steal by the way.
to read the details, click on over to the snapshots page here.

ok, now to enter.
please leave me a comment telling me about someone in your life who inspires you.
that's it.
easy peasy.

to earn an extra entry, donate any dollar amount to our davis boy, via the chipin button right over there under my picture, and i will throw your name in the hat for every dollar donated!
(no need to leave another comment.
chipin will let me know that you've donated and how much $.)

it's a win-win situation, don't ya think?
:)

next wednesday, august 24th, i will pick a winner from the comments.

GOOD LUCK, FRIENDS!
and thank you ashley!

some business stuff.

2011-08-17T14:33:00.000-05:00

i have received so many nice comments and questions from you lately.
i would love to answer them all, but most of you have your blogger settings set so that i can't reply to you--your email is not accessible!
so how can i get back to you?!?

there are two ways to get around this.

1. change your blogger settings so your email is available when you comment.
you can do this by simply clicking on your dashboard, clicking on "edit your profile" (next to your picture), and then clicking the box that says "show my email address."

or

2. send me an email with your email and your question.
you can click on the "email me" pic over yonder. --------------->

if you have asked me something in the comments recently and haven't heard a peep, please email me.
i am more than happy to help!

next item today is the keeper of my heart giveaway.
all items have been shipped and/or coordinated to be shipped.
if you won something, please let me know (via email) if you still have not received it.
one commenter asked me to list the winners. and i did that HERE.
so if your name is listed and you haven't received your prize, i need to know!

ok, next up. the chip in button and our reece's rainbow fund.
so many kind folks have asked if we are going to do another fundraiser.
the answer is YES!
i am trying to plan a few things, but all are in their infancy stage right now.
in the mean time, if you would still like to give a donation, the chip in button is still active and you can always give by clicking on davis' picture over in the right hand column.
both of those methods still work and we are more than willing to receive!
:)
thank you for asking.

what's next? hmmm...
my friend ashley ann gave me something for one of YOU.
come back tomorrow and see what's up.
haha.
i'm leaving ya hangin!
but trust me, you're gonna want to come back for this one!

me.

2011-08-16T17:15:00.000-05:00

ok so here's the thing.
i am from new jersey.
born and raised.
when i was 18 i moved to pennsylvania for five years to attend college.
then i moved south.
way south.
to alabama.
and i have lived here for 13 years.
so, i'm quite the oxymoron.

i love to cuss (i do. bad.),
i love to say yous guys,
i love to laugh about fart jokes,
i love to cheer very loudly for my beloved penn state.

but i also love sweet tea,
i love the Lord,
i love potlucks,
i love saying y'all and ma'am and yes sir.

i am the epitome of a damn yankee.
i am a mutt.
a potpourri of the north and the south.

but ya know, over the years, i've learned to embrace my north meets south personality.
i'm ok with a cheese steak or a hush puppie.
i'm cool with the way i pronouce water (i do say wudder.)
and i'm cool with the way i proudly tell the children to fetch a buggy at publix.
bless my heart.

i like it.
i like that about me.
i like me.
and it's taken me 36 years to be able to say that.

be my guest.

2011-08-15T07:20:00.002-05:00

today i am guest blogging at jeannett's.
her blog has long been a favorite of mine and i am honored to be a part of her special needs series.
of course i couldn't help but write about the little boys in my life with down syndrome!
but the series is not just for parents of special needs children.
it's more about just being parents.
and more about just being people.
and mostly about LOVE.

jeannett is also doing a fundraiser for an incredible organization called the free wheelchair mission.
their goal is to provide wheelchairs to the impoverished disabled in developing countries.
but what they are really providing, by simply giving them wheelchairs, is so much more: their dignity, self-respect and mobility.
i am proud to be able to give to such an incredible organization.

hop on over and show her some love, ok?
hope you have a lovely monday!

mr. impatient.

2011-08-14T14:27:00.000-05:00

sometimes it's hard for him to wait the entire 3 1/2 minutes until the popcorn is ready.
he gets impatient and starts following me around with the popcorn bowl.
that's when i giggle and grab the camera. and he decides to hide.

and i thank my lucky stars that ben is mine and i am his.
this funny sweet soul that is so much a part of me.
my goodness i love him so.

almost ready.

2011-08-11T15:59:00.000-05:00

soon two little boys will sleep in this room.
ben will share with his little brother.
oh my goodness, how did i not even realize that ben will now be a big brother??!

i found these twin beds at walmart for $99 each.
my mom and dad brought the ikea dresser back from their last trip to new jersey.
i still would love to paint in here and the art work will definitely change but the beds are in and they are a perfect fit! (my 50mm lens was not a good choice for taking these pics, sorry!)

we are busy preparing our home for this little boy.
the day will come when i will be able to tuck two little ones into bed in this room.
that day can't get here fast enough!

buck.

2011-08-10T20:12:00.000-05:00

i love taking pictures of him.
he pretends he doesn't even notice me.

he actually looks at me out of the corner of his eye.
it's hilarious.
i could take pictures of him all day long.
ah bucky, my muse.
oh la la.

back to school 2011.

2011-08-08T20:38:00.000-05:00

we survived.
surprisingly, we were on time.
the kids were all in bed and asleep by 8:00pm.
hooray for back to school day!

and just to keep it real, here's one of the hilarious pictures i found on my camera this evening--john's attempt to get a group shot of all the kiddos before we headed to the bus stop...

i think ben was saying, "school is cool!"
right.

i am slighty obsessed with these pictures.

2011-08-08T07:57:00.001-05:00

those gorgeous lanterns.
that island with the marble top.
the barstools.
that stove. i dream of that stove.
i am drooling.

the nightstand.
the iron bed.
that black and white striped rug.
the peek at those beautiful curtains.
the color scheme. so soft.

both photos from the new crate and barrel catalog.

hello sunday. goodbye summer.

2011-08-07T08:08:00.000-05:00

good morning sunday.
lists are everywhere i look. some finished, some not.
lots to do. i think this is going to be a busy day.

today is the last day before the start of the new school year for the kiddos.
i am sitting here in shock, thinking ahead til tomorrow when everyone will be out of the house and on their way at this time.

it's going to be an eye-opener for the kids.
gone are the lazy sleepy-headed mornings of lounging on the sofa or in their beds while poppy watches ben boy.
no more breakfast at lunch time, and swimsuits and flip flops as outfits.

just like that, they have disappeared.
vanished.
vaporized.
our summer gone with them.
even though it is blazing hot outside and still feels very much like summer, we are moving on and changing seasons.

it's already begun.
football started last week.
bring on the marching bands, cheerleaders and megaphones.
half-time's over and it's time to play.
giddy up.

hope to be back tomorrow with some back to school pictures.

giggles.

2011-08-05T14:36:00.000-05:00

this boy sure knows how to giggle.
and work an ipad like a pro.
in case you were wondering, here's what my little love sounds like (and my loud laugh too).
he whispers the letter G, ever so quietly, then explodes with laughter at the goat sounds.

sorry i've been m.i.a. lately.
school starts on monday so we are running, full-steam ahead.
i still have some of the giveaway prizes at my house.
shameful.
i promise to mail them out tomorrow morning!

i also have an email inbox that is overflowing.
i promise to work on that too.

lots to do, not enough energy or hours in the day.
i'm sure you can relate.

one last tidbit of goodness before i close this computer: we received our last clearance letter in the mail yesterday.
the homestudy is being finalized as we speak, should be ready early next week and then it's time to register with davis' country!
WOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

happy friday, friends!

jim.

2011-08-02T09:00:00.000-05:00

i work with a man named jim.
jim is 74 years old.
i watch him every day, shuffle down the hallway with his cane, head and back hunched over.
jim has parkinson's and recently beat throat cancer.
he recently had part of the bone from his forearm cut out and fused to his jaw to try to revitalize a large portion of his jawbone that his rounds of extensive radiation have killed.
jim is amazing.

we have several things in common, jim and i.
first and foremost is our love of the great state of pennsylvania and the northeast part of our country.
we also love state college, p.a., the home of penn state university and the greatest college football program on the planet.
we could talk about eating grilled stickies and cheesesteaks until the cows came home.
in fact, we could talk about just about anything until the cows came home.
jim is a talker.
he is also a wonderful story-teller.

he has lived a colorful life.
he roamed alaska with real honest-to-goodness indians, won awards from the department of transportation, redesigned military systems all over the world, helped doctorate students understand the right way to fly payloads in space.
i tell him at least once a week that he should write a book.
i would be first in line to buy it.

to say i love this man is an understatement.

i ask jim all the time about his experiences and to tell me more about his past.
"how did you get to do that?!" i ask, in awe. "are you making that up?" teasing him, ever so slightly.

the funny thing, and the part that hits me in the gut, is that he will respond by saying something like (and brace yourself, he likes to cuss), "hell, i got to do all this neat shit because i wasn't afraid of any of it. someone asked me if i wanted to do it, and i wanted to, so i did."

and that's just it: he did all of these amazing things in his life because when presented with a choice, he went for it.
every time.
no fear.
no trepidation.
just jumped.
leapt.
soared.

jim is 74 years old.
and i find that i am learning more and more from him every day.
when he shuffles into my office and exclaims, "hey baby!", i smile big and i prepare myself for a story.
i get ready to listen.
i have so much to learn.

bed time.

2011-07-30T21:21:00.000-05:00

ben and i have a bedtime routine.
i tuck him under the covers, turn on his ceiling fan and turn on his music player.
he watches me closely as i quietly move around his room.
when everything is ready, i cuddle up next to him.

the warm early evening light shines through his curtains and his room glows a soft hazy blue.
he yawns a big yawn and smiles lazily at me.
oh my goodness, he has such twinkly eyes.
ben grabs my hand and puts it on top of his head.
he wants me to rub his hair. he loves it.
i stroke his head, combing his hair with my fingers.

he sinks deeper into his pillow.
he reaches for my hand and holds it tight.
he yawns again.
in one last attempt to stay awake, he pulls his chubby fingers out from under his covers and put his pointer finger on my mouth.
i kiss it and he giggles.
he does it again.
i kiss it again and he giggles, softly.
he yawns again.
one more kiss and this time he just grins at me.

the light in his room has turned darker now. the sun is setting fast.
he turns and rolls slightly onto his belly.
i know it won't be long now.
his eyes close and his breathing slows down into a quiet melodic rhythm.
i look down and notice that he is still holding my hand.

*********************

the other day i noticed someone found my blog by doing a google search for "down syndrome diagnosis scared"

when i read those words, i stopped dead in my tracks and held my breath.
my head started to swirl and my heart started to ache.

i wish with all my heart that the person who stumbled upon my blog left with hope--hope for their situation and hope for their future.

if they could have been in ben's room tonight and felt the love i felt, i know they would have been hopeful.
for this little boy has changed me forever.

how can i show them how wonderful it can be?

thursday, already and thursday, finally

2011-07-28T20:58:00.000-05:00

one of the letters we were waiting for showed up in our mailbox today! yea!
if you have been praying for us, thank you!
this certainly was no coincidence--no, this letter was heaven sent!

other items worth noting today:

--tricia and glenn were officially crowned as world's best listeners this morning in my office.
as we sat with our coffee cups and i spilled my guts about all my worries.
i love them.

--the big kids (and john) jogged to my parents' house tonight.
josh is trying to get in shape for football.
and anna just can't let him do anything on his own.

--ben swam for 2 1/2 hours today.
then he ate like a little piggy.
and then he was supposed to take a nap but instead kept saying "UP!" over and over.
finally at 7:00pm, on the dot, mr. no nap went to sleep.

--i have convinced a couple of friends to join me in selling some crafty stuff at a small local event in october--my next attempt at raising some more money for our adoption fund.
now my head is swirling with craft ideas and booth decorating ideas.
i hope i can sleep tonight!

--i bought a maxi dress and a couple of cheap (but super cute) tank tops at walmart today.
i am praying that no one asks me if i'm preggo when i wear the dress.
do you have to be super skinny to wear these things?
ack! i hope i have the guts to wear it 'cause it's adorable.

--open house for the kiddos' school is one week from today. school starts a few days after that. i think it's time for a quick, emergency overnight trip, just the five of us, to celebrate the end of our summer break.
any suggestions??

ok. i think that about does it for today.
hope y'all had a happy thursday!

oops, almost forgot a picture...what was i thinking?

waiting.

2011-07-27T09:22:00.001-05:00

another reece's rainbow family is in davis' country, in his region, maybe even at his orphanage! this week.
every morning and every evening i am running to their blog and checking fb for their updates.
yesterday i saw the first pictures of their little boy in his mommy and daddy's arms.
i am soaking it all in and my heart is feeling so happy.

it is also making my heart ache.

i want to be there. that is obvious, i'm sure.
we sit here and wait.
the last piece of paperwork needed for our homestudy was submitted six weeks ago.
it could be another month or two until we get the clearance necessary to move forward.

i am struggling.
i am impatient and accept that fact.
but this is crazy town. a lesson that is hard to learn.
we know one day we'll get a letter in the mail, everything will move forward and this time will pass.
i know this.

and so, for now, we wait.
and we watch the others.
while we pray for our turn to come sooner than later.

my heart is aching.
there is a little boy that needs me and i can't get there fast enough.