eyes on the prize.

today was not my best day.
and i should probably be smacked upside the head for even writing that because a lot of super sweet things happened to me today.

there was an envelope waiting for me in my work mailbox.
inside was a donation to davis' fund from an amazing young family.
sometimes people surprise the heck out of you, and these newlyweds so graciously surprised the heck out of me.
without sounding too mushy, they are some good people.

then my dear friend, who i love immensely, called me to walk me through some more adoption questions i had.
despite being waist-deep in this wild process herself, she always makes time for me and i appreciate it so much.

and yesterday we received our final copies of the home study and finally have our reece's rainbow status moved to "compiling dossier"--a huge milestone for us!

and just to top off the happy, tricia curled my hair all cute like and i walked around with a bouncy fun hairdo all day.

so why? why am i feeling so in the dumps?
dunno.
if i am being honest, i'm feeling a bit overwhelmed about the adoption process right now.

we are going to be writing some big checks soon and that's scary.
we have lots of paperwork to make PERFECT and that's scary.
we have to wait and see if there are any more changes necessary to the required forms and the waiting is about to kill me.
we need to do more fundraising but i am tired. i need a push. and i feel very lame.
plus, i don't know about you, but asking people for donations is one of my LEAST favorite things to do.
ever.
i would rather eat a worm.
(not really.)
but it makes me feel uncomfortable and yucky so i guess they're about the same.

so i'm trying to turn my face to the sun.
i'm trying to get my bearings about me and remember why i'm doing this in the first place.
i'm trying to set my focus on a little boy who needs me.

i'm trying to remember that i have friends, very generous friends, who are willing to help.
and i'm trying to find my voice.

tomorrow will be better.
it almost always is.