Monday, February 7, 2011

pity party.

from here

i am feeling like a big baby right now.
i feel so whiney and sad and i'm having a really hard time explaining myself to others.
(now i know how my ben boy feels so much. no wonder he gets so frustrated!)

today i went to an IEP meeting at the big kids' school.
IEP stands for individualized education plan. which loosely translates to special ed or additional ed.

it's official--all three of my kids now have IEPs--the older two now have speech therapy.
anna has a really hard time with s, sh, and th.
josh has a hard time with the r sound at the end of words.
ben has major speech needs that are just a part of down syndrome.

i know this is not the end of the world.
there are really sick kids every where.
i am acutely aware of what others are dealing with.
in the grand scheme of things, this is NOTHING.
so why does it feel like EVERYTHING??????????????

right now, i feel sad and blue.
i just want to ignore this speech stuff, the results of testing, the teacher comments, the insanely and ridiculously worded plan.
i want to take a nap and wake up next week.
very mature of me, isn't it?!

we all have our days.
i just want to call in sick on this one.
you do understand, don't you?


Adrienne said...

Totally understand! Hope it's end up being easier than it seems right now. Everyone is allowed to have a pity party because to you, it's a big deal and I think as long as you acknowledge that others may have it far worse (some people don't do that or realize that you know) the it's perfectly okay:)

Anonymous said...

I know the feeling. My daughter had an IEP all the way up to 7th grade. Each IEP meeting was to show us how far behind she was from all the other kids. It wasn't fun. All of a sudden this year in 7th, she gets it. School has now become fun and easy for her. Straight A's. I never thought I would miss the hours of homework and screaming every single night. But I do. Now, I get home and she's already finished with her homework, has no questions, and has already studied.

The school is still trying to keep her in IEP, but I think they've finally realized she doesn't need it and now declare her IEP Voluntary.

So no worries. Your kids will all of a sudden "get it".


amy d said...

how about you arrange for all those teachers to use the multi-axis trainer and see how they fair? :)

Tara said...

Hi.. I love your blog, I read often, but have only left a few comments.. but I had to comment on this post.. My son is 7 and is also in speech therapy - I also really took it to heart, and was/am very frustrated by the plans and teachers... I feel like each meeting is a copy of the one before.. they aren't telling me anything new.. getting more and more critical of "homework".. All this for a "th" sound?.. The last time I felt so talked down to, and shamed I had a huge sobbing pity party on the way home.. I'm over it now - but I get it.

...Nancy said...

Yo your own inspiration: "“…when some doctor tells you “Your child won’t…” or “Don’t get your hopes up,” don’t you dare sell your child out and buy into that… defeatist attitude. Sometimes all it takes is a belief that it can happen, the determination to create the possibilities —the right environment, the right people— and the ability to love your child more than you fear their labels and limitations.”
Big hugs, big love, and tell them where to stick it!!!

Kimberlee Jost said...

I'll drink to that. :)

We had our IEP today, too.

And guess what? We get to meet again tomorrow. I kid you not.

The Counters said...

Sending warm thoughts!

Danielle said...

I just want you to know I totally here your heart right now. Sometimes this blogging thing can be wonderful therapy to get those things off our chest. I am not always good at expressing myself through speaking but when I write it flows effortlessly. The wonderful thing about the God we serve is that He knows us so well and He cares about all the details. This seems overwhelming at the moment but He will give you the grace you need the moment you need it, you are in my prayers today. Go listen to "Oh, Happy Day" on Meg's site, I promise it will give your spirit a lift:)

Anonymous said...

It is so hard to meet with people about your child. Katherine, my 3 year old, was evaluated and deemed "non-verbal". It does suck. I hope you get some good rest and tomorrow will be better.

--Rachel P.

Kate said...

some days are hard...thank god...not all days!...from one mama to another...i understand

Anonymous said...

My oldest boys needed speech for articulation errors. It felt like FOREVER as I walked out of those awful IEP meetings! But I am happy to say my oldest is now in 8th grade gets A's and B's (in all honors classes) and plays four seasons of sports, he was undefeated in wrestling, and was runner up for student council president (in a school with 900 kiddos!) His articuation errors are long gone and if anything the whole process I think helped develop his character.
Sadly, my Benny (youngest) gets speech three days a week for a language delay which is a whole other can of worms! We spent all of last Friday at CHOP searching for a genetic reason to his global delay....I came home and ate my body weight in choclate. I think I can relate to your post....the utter frustration of it all...and on some days ALL AT ONCE!
(Keeping this comment anonymous as I don't want it to come up under a google search...just not there yet about talking pubicly about my sons delays...but just so you know who this is...I am Eagles fan who loves your PB grand couch! =)
Hang in there!

Lisa said...

My 7 year old son has an IEP also. The meetings are sooooo hard. Every single time we have one, I come out feeling like I have been physically and emotionally beaten up. It is so draining. I totally understand your feelings. Since my meeting is not for another month, I am feeling pretty good, so I will tell you that by having each of these meetings, YOU are helping your child so much. They are in a different place than others, so what. YOU can't change that alone so read about the children of your kind posters and their success stories. However it is meant to work out, it will. They are all wonderful and will continue to be that way.

And I will be back here to reread this post and these comments after my meeting next month.

Big Hugs...

Anonymous poster...Lisa

Anonymous said...

I understand, momma! And I am praying for you!

Kelli said...

You've seen my blog right? We all have those days when it feels like it is so overwhelming that you just don't want to deal with it anymore. Hope you feel better soon....BIG BIG HUG :)