it's only been six months.

let's get this blog updated why don't we!

let's start with the obvious:  i am still healing.
it is taking much, much longer than i ever expected.
and if i'm being completely honest with you, i still look at davis' picture almost every day.
i look straight into his little face and i apologize for failing him.
that's how i feel--like i could have worked harder or completed my paperwork faster or pushed myself in some other way--to get to him faster.
i almost can't believe it all happened, like it's a bad nightmare that i can't seem to shake.
i'm working on it.

we received our invitation to travel to jude's country in early august.
unfortunately, his paperwork was not ready yet so we had to miss our appointment.
major bummer.
we hope to be able to travel in november now!
deep breath and fingers crossed!
if you could pray for putin to go away and leave all neighboring countries alone forever, i would be so grateful.

so many wonderful things have been happening in our family.
the children all returned to school!  (see what i mean?  wonderful!)
josh started middle school/junior high and has amazed me with how well he transitioned.
he is such a good kid, even though he struggles with keeping up with his homework and helping out around the house.
but then again, what 12 year old doesn't, right?

anna started fifth grade and is doing great.
she is crazy about her science class and the fact that she recently was named the class "reptile manager".
perfect.

like josh, ben changed schools too, continuing with our city's special education program.
the first week or so was Rough.
with a capital R.
but now, oh man.
now, he's found his groove and he is loving his new class.
we have all settled in and it feels so good to be back in a rhythm again.

john is going back to school to get another master's degree.
overachiever, that one.
i can barely find enough energy to get a shower every day.
he's out getting degrees.
nuts.

we got a new dog.
his name is tater and he's a goof ball.
i think i like him.
even though he pees all over my house and i keep repeating, "why can't i have anything nice?!!"

miss kitty still isn't sure about him*.
he pounces on her every chance he can get.
*might have something to do with it.

i'm getting tired of typing (tragedy! i've obviously lost my blogging stamina!).
so quickly...
josh quit football.  (too much practicing, all the days and nights.......)
anna is playing volleyball (loves it.  she's a beast.)
ben is playing soccer (so far -- meh.)
i still wanna own my own store. (no $. story of my life.)
i'm obsessed with the show fixer upper.
joanna gaines.
oh my lawd.

i think that's about it.
it's just a little summary that i'm not really proud of but hey, i wrote it.
and we lived it.
and now i'm gonna hit publish and give myself some grace.

january observations.

here we are at january 19th already.
january is always a blur.
the hoopla of the holidays is behind us and i think we all crave the stillness and pause of january.
the kids are getting back into the swing of things and i've welcomed routine back into our home with open arms.
except for homework.
homework is never welcomed with open arms.
ever.
i digress.
i'm kinda in the mood for writing a list of all my january daily notes so here goes:

--all three kids brought home great report cards.  i'm so proud of them.

--anna has been having some emotional outbursts lately.  either she's jealous of the boys, or seeking attention, or both.  i have a feeling her hormones are going wild.  i don't know how mothers with lots of daughters handle it.  (i'm talking to you, danielle farley!)

--i would pay someone to trim ben's finger and toenails.  i have done it for almost seven years now and i've finally had enough.  i'm sourcing it out.  interested parties apply within.

--josh and john are twins.  it's terrifying at times.  and wonderful at other times.  but mostly terrifying.

--i'm freezing.  i'm counting down the days until spring rolls in.  winter is not my favorite.

--i was on pinterest the other day and i was loving every single thing on there.  i even said out loud "this is the best pinterest board ever!  i love it all!"  and then i realized i was on my own pinterest board.  i'm a dork.

--is blogging over?  i notice less and less blogs still going strong.  that makes me feel so sad.  but here are a few of my favorites lately, all new to me, very different and very, very beautiful:

the beetle shack
heart handmade
shine
me and alice
hello from the natos

--i have found myself in situation after situation, over the past year or so, where i just can't imagine getting through things without help from the Lord.  nothing in my own simple mind can make sense of things without Him.  i think about times in my life where i sinned, failed, made terrible choices, etc. and in each situation, i felt like i was in control.  so foolish.  now i feel like i am never in control, that nothing is ever possible without God.  and there is a peace that comes over me like i've never known.  and this peace is grace.  maybe i'm just now getting it, but man, I GET IT.  and it is such relief.

--i love lists.  they make me happy.

that is all for today.
c'mon spring.

hi you. it's hump day!

it's been one of those days when all i want to do is be outside.

right now i'm sitting on the patio, watching ben and anna play on the trampoline.

i can hear kiddos running all over the neighborhood, playing football (where josh is), riding bikes, playing in the cul-de-sac.

it's cool outside, but still warm enough for shorts and a t-shirt.

i'm just going through some recent pics on the laptop.

and i'm kinda thinking i should have brought a cold beer out here with me...

the tops of the trees are just starting to change colors.

john has been spending a lot of his free time building a new play house/fort for the kids.

it's loosely based on this design.

the kids are already planning their first sleep over in it.

josh and ben like to beat each other silly.

i think it's a guy thing.

sleeping with the windows open...one of my most favorite things ever.

bonnie is 16 years old.

she's starting to act senile and has terrible arthritis.

but yet she's still quick enough to catch a bird.

amazing old girl.

our garden is a nothing more than a huge patch of weeds.

i can't tell you how many times i just wanted john to weed whack it.

but somehow, miraculously, there are zinnias blooming and even a few gourds.

this boy.

he can be sweet as pie.

i treasure those moments.

some time he can be...well...nevermind.

i'm sticking with the sweet.

and this girl.

oh when she tells a story, she just comes ALiVe!

this story was about an armadillo.

and this pic?

it needs no caption whatsoever.

now about that beer...

13 years.

today we have been together 6,002 days.
it has been exactly 16 years, 5 months and 5 days since we first kissed.
sweetie, can you believe it's been 837 weeks since that party in my apartment in penn towers?
i can't believe it either.

you look a bit like a creeper in this pic.
i'm totally tanner than you.
and your braces!
maybe we had a tad bit too much to drink that night.
oh well.  today we have been married for 13 years.

it hasn't always been easy.
it hasn't always been carefree.
there have been many bumps in our long and winding road.
many, many tears have been shed and i'm sorrys said.
but there sure has been a whole lot of love, a whole lot of laughter and happiness, and the best part, a whole lot of we're in this togethers.

i love you.
it will always be you.
now, let's eat some KFC.
i'm starving.

happy anniversary to the nicest boy i know.
p.s. i'm still crazy about your neck. ;)

38.

yesterday john had a birthday.
we had a little celebration to show him how much we love him.

nothing fancy, just cake from the grocery store, some homemade decorations, and lots and lots of hugs and kisses.

my husband is such a sweetheart.
he is just so dang nice.
he's nice to look at too, just sayin.
;)

anyways.....
happy birthday, john boy.
we love ya tons!
 

slow down.

LIFE.
man, it just seems to buzz by at the speed of light, doesn't it?
i mean, surely it was just friday.
and now here i sit, in the last few hours of sunday, with my halloween lights on outside and the steelers playing on tv next to me...and i seriously could swear it was just the fourth of july.

and we are all so busy.
school work,
projects,
gymnastics,
softball,
house repairs,
field trips,
birthday parties,
dress up like this on this day and this on this day and come have lunch at school and bring a special snack and don't forget to send in this or that...................

make.


it.


stop!


even tonight josh was lamenting the fact that tomorrow was the beginning of another long and busy week.
he's only 10 years old but he feels it too, the need for an escape from the every day, the full-speed-ahead that we fill our lives with.

this week i'm going to play catch up here on the blog.
all the stuff that needs to be documented for us.
up first, josh's big field trip to sleepaway camp.
yep, sleepaway camp. cue the eerie halloween music!

everyone survived, including john.
:)

two days. two parties.

well, we did it.
two birthday parties in two days.
i need a nap.
we all do--with the exception of ben, he slept like a champ, little stinker.

warning: picture overload.
it happens sometimes.
this one's a doozie.

friday afternoon we set up for anna's party.
she wanted to decorate cupcakes and have a sleepover and that's just what we did.
nothing super fancy or costly, just decorating a few cupcakes and watch a movie.

i made a giant cupcake and candy shell liner just like darby did.
i also made some regular cupcakes and set out some sprinkles and colored frosting.

we made a quick garland out of cupcake liners.
and used a piece of fabric as a table runner.
the cupcakes and fixins were the centerpiece.

we didn't have much time to set up but it sure turned out cute.
as soon as the girls got there, they started decorating cupcakes.
it was giggle city.
and it was LOUD.
and happy.

the girls played barbies, put on a fashion show and watched a movie.
then, as the sugar highs wore off, each girl took their turn to CRY--one wanted to go home early, one didn't want to leave at all, one lost a tooth (anna!), one pinched another...

little girls sure bring the DRAMA.
one girl went home at 1:30 in the morning.
we didn't get much sleep but the girls were still giggling when they woke up at 6am.
 
i made pancakes and sausages and strawberries.
we sang happy birthday because we forgot the night before!
it was a pancake cake.

the girlies played some more and the mommas came to pick them up.
i cleaned up, had my own time out on the porch with my coffee (glorious!), and then got ready for party #2.

anna and i made another quick garland out of ripped up camo fabric.
we gathered up supplies for smores and hotdogs.
i put sprinkles on the leftover cupcakes and called it done.

josh wanted to have a video game party and a sleepover.
yep, another sleepover.
we picked up a bunch of pizzas for dinner.
john set up all of our tvs so the boys could all play together.
no taking turns--it was heaven for 10 year old boys.
they played their little hearts out.
no time limits today.

i picked up flashlights at walmart for each of the boys so they could play flashlight tag--an easy and cheap party favor.
john built a fire while the boys chased each other through the dark.
they ate smores and cooked hotdogs and spoke a language that only 10 year old boys understand.
"yo mrs. jupin, this is tight!"

a
round 11pm, they stopped just long enough to open gifts and eat a second round of pizza and cupcakes.
7 boys, 5 pizzas, done.
then back to the games.

the next morning there were bodies everywhere.
the boys stayed up way too late and were exhausted.
i made pancakes and sausages again.
they were slow to wake but then they attacked the video games again until it was time to go.

boys are messy, they are stinky, and they are as goofy as it gets.
dirty socks, wet grass, sticky doorknobs...they definitely left their marks.
but they are so much more low key than the girls!

when the last boy left, we cleaned up the house, did dishes, wiped down the bathroom, swept the porch...and then it was time for sunday school!!
no rest for the weary.

turns out we just can't hang like we used to.
:)

the good news is that we survived.
we made it through our birthday season!
now, if you'll excuse me, i am going to take the world's longest nap.......

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...........
zzzzzzzzzz

if only i were so lucky!