turkey day

john was in charge of thanksgiving this year.
he was so excited to cook the turkey. without my inputs.
{it was so hard to let him do what he wanted. without my inputs.}


ok, i admit. it was delicious!
there was too much food.
why do we always do that?
we probably could have fed 25 people.


but it was just us and uncle jason.
small and nice.
no fighting over the gravy.
big full plates overflowing with yummy homemade goodness.


the kids had full bellies too and played for hours.
but something felt like it was missing all day.


it was the noise.
the line of family around the kitchen.
the chatter of uncles and grandpops and cousins.
we had one uncle over.
and we sure were happy to have him.
but he sure was quiet after dinner.


i guess it just didn't FEEL like thanksgiving without the rest of our family.

most of time, i am okay living far away from everyone.
i have my kids and my work and my house.
that keeps me BUSY.
but days like yesterday, when most people are complaining about having to go to great aunt sally's for the one millionth time...those days are hard. the hardest for me.
i pray one day it will be different.