Wednesday, August 31, 2011

eyes on the prize.

today was not my best day.
and i should probably be smacked upside the head for even writing that because a lot of super sweet things happened to me today.

there was an envelope waiting for me in my work mailbox.
inside was a donation to davis' fund from an amazing young family.
sometimes people surprise the heck out of you, and these newlyweds so graciously surprised the heck out of me.
without sounding too mushy, they are some good people.

then my dear friend, who i love immensely, called me to walk me through some more adoption questions i had.
despite being waist-deep in this wild process herself, she always makes time for me and i appreciate it so much.

and yesterday we received our final copies of the home study and finally have our reece's rainbow status moved to "compiling dossier"--a huge milestone for us!

and just to top off the happy, tricia curled my hair all cute like and i walked around with a bouncy fun hairdo all day.

so why? why am i feeling so in the dumps?
if i am being honest, i'm feeling a bit overwhelmed about the adoption process right now.

we are going to be writing some big checks soon and that's scary.
we have lots of paperwork to make PERFECT and that's scary.
we have to wait and see if there are any more changes necessary to the required forms and the waiting is about to kill me.
we need to do more fundraising but i am tired. i need a push. and i feel very lame.
plus, i don't know about you, but asking people for donations is one of my LEAST favorite things to do.
i would rather eat a worm.
(not really.)
but it makes me feel uncomfortable and yucky so i guess they're about the same.

so i'm trying to turn my face to the sun.
i'm trying to get my bearings about me and remember why i'm doing this in the first place.
i'm trying to set my focus on a little boy who needs me.

i'm trying to remember that i have friends, very generous friends, who are willing to help.
and i'm trying to find my voice.

tomorrow will be better.
it almost always is.


Danielle said...

Oh sweetie I completely understand how you're feeling. Saying a prayer for you this very minute that the Lord would bring you comfort and peace in your heart and in your head. Especially the head because that's where most of the chaos happens, believe me I know:)

Danielle said...

Oh and yay for status changes!

Shelly said...

Those who have trod the path you are traveling, understand, empathize, and celebrate the big and small moments of the process.

It's no easy path, for sure. But, the treasure is oh so very worth it, worth celebrating, and loving every moment together.

One step at a time, one moment at a time, and it will all come together.

Take deep breaths, inhale, exhale...
XO XO and Hugs to your family.

Jason & Jaime Kelley said...

I have been thinking of you and praying for you ALL throughout today!! Seriously I almost FB you a number of times to tell you I was thinking of you and praying~ I felt silly so I didn't. I wish I would have now!! :( I happened to see you moved to the compiling dossier page on RR and I was SOO excited!! Know that someone in sunny AZ loves you and is praying for you!! I'm carrying your burdens in my heart too, friend~ I mean it :)

Lora said...

I'm in the exact same place right now. I've got all these adoption things swirling around in my head constantly,I can't think straight and it can be very overwhelming. I have some video of our son though and I try and watch those when I'm feeling frustrated or bummed out. Eyes on the prize....I like that!

Renee said...

Dear friend,
Lifting you up today, knowing all too well how you feel... Bit by bit, we all get where we need to be. Soon I will get on a plane, fly over a vast ocean for more hours than I care to, a girl that squirms, fidgets, checks the clock a hundred times every 2 minutes and that is just when I drive from Louisiana to Mississippi...but I will do it for Paisley, just like you will write those checks, check that paperwork a hundred times over AND fundraise even when you don't want to...for Davis. Because you are his momma and that is what mommas do. :) Anything and everything... eyes on the prize, indeed.

j*e*n said...

There are so many people that are praying for you, and who are more than willing to support you. Davis will be sooo worth all of your efforts & so much more!