Wednesday, October 12, 2011

it's been weird.

it's gray and gloomy outside.
all day i've felt kinda weird.
funky.
not exactly much of anything in particular.
just kind of blah.
i'm blaming it on the weather.

i've been getting antsy to buy something new.
i don't need a thing, but i want.
i want and i want and i want.
it's awful.

right at this very second i want to take a nap but that's another story.


we received a longggggg list of documents we still need to provide to davis' country and i'm feeling overwhelmed.
i've looked at that list ten times and still don't know where to begin.
adoption is hard.
i feel like satan is lurking close.
john and i are going to sit down this weekend and put together a plan of what needs to be done when.
i think having a plan will help ease my nerves.
i dreamt of davis last night and he was so scared.
he had light brown hair that glimmered and his skin was flawless.
he felt so soft.
when i woke up i kept thinking how real it all felt.
he felt so close.

then i dreamt that john cheated on me and didn't care about the kids.
so i think i must be losing my mind.
it's official.


ummm kay.
what exactly is this post about anyway?
how about some halloween decorating anna and i did this weekend?
nah.
i'm done.
couch is calling.

4 comments:

Kimberlee said...

That sounds like Satan, alright.
I am praying right now!!!

Psalm 4:8
In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, LORD, make me dwell in safety.

Mud pies and Moonlight said...

Let me know if you get overwhelmed, friend. We have put together 2 dossiers and the list for both was long (Paisley's country actually has 5 dossiers but 3-5 are a piece of cake! I have been thinking about you all day... I knew something was up. Feel better...toffee is on it's way!

Jason & Jaime Kelley said...

Every time I look at the document list..I feel completely overwhelmed. I wish I had someone to sit down with me and help me make a to do list and I could just check the items off one by one. I wish the 3 of us girls could sit down with a cup of coffee, hug, laugh, shed a tear or two and make one big grand list! Love you and praying for you!!
A few weeks ago I told our homegroup that I feel like it takes one type of person to navigate the process of adoption and another type to just want to bring the child home...later that night I felt the Lord correct me saying "No. It just takes ME." God is our shepherd and will faithfully lead us through. love and hugs!!

Danielle said...

I just stare at the list. I mentally can't do anything with it. It seems like it's all in Chinese. I know what needs to be done but can't seem to move forward. I definitely know the funk your talking about. Trying to take it a little bit at a time, that's the only way I can process so much at this moment. Love you and you are not alone, call if you need to vent:)