Saturday, December 10, 2011

thought of an inspired mommy.

i wrapped presents last night for three hours.
i wrote out all of our christmas cards and got them ready to go.
i put away ingredients for christmas cookies and now my pantry shelves are bulging at the seams.
i tucked away dozens of stocking stuffers for the kiddos, and set joseph the elf up in the sneakiest of places.

i am doing all the things i should be doing this time of year, preparing our home for the holidays.
but something just doesn't feel right.
no matter how busy i am, i keep feeling like i'm forgetting something, like something is missing.

this morning i opened my computer and read a new post by susanna on the blessing of verity.
and there it was: a smiling miss katie bird in a sweet pink headband, slowly recovering from the last NINE years of neglect and malnourishment.
my heart exploded and tears were everywhere and i realized why i still feel so empty inside.

i miss davis.

i want him here with us.
i want to be his mommy and dress him in santa jammies and give him homemade christmas cookies.
i want to be wrapping gifts for him and warn him not to peek.
i want to see his eyes light up at the neighbor's christmas lights or listen to him giggle at a singing snowman stuffed animal.

this christmas season, i have been blessed by so many things.
and i feel so lucky; these blessings truly feel like gifts from above.
and i know in my heart that davis will be safe soon.
we will do whatever he needs, we will do whatever he needs.

but there are so many orphans who need so much.
who will do for them? who will feel led to help?
i need you guys to understand how important this is.
these children have nothing, absolutely NOTHING of their own.

i'm not implying everyone should adopt.
no, that's not for everyone and i get that.
but there are other things you can do.
donate money,
spread the word,
tell others what you've read and seen,

this holiday season can seem tough, so much to do, so much to spend, so much to want...but let's not forget the reason.

i am watching a miracle happen in katie.
it has inspired me in a way that i didn't see coming.
it has inspired me to love davis more deeply.
it has inspired me to believe in the Lord in a way that i haven't allowed myself before.
it has inspired me. period.
it is my prayer that it will inspire you too.

today i am going to wrap a gift for davis and place it under the tree.
he won't open it until next year but it will be there for him all the same.
he is a part of us and we will miss him until he is home.


Chrissie Grace said...

Oh Amy, my heart aches for you. One day he will be home, safe in your arms.

Rachel said...

I feel your pain, that's heartbreaking to think about Davis and all the other children who won't be in their forever homes this Christmas :( Praying for you all!

Mud pies and Moonlight said...

Katie is a living example of physical neglect at it's worst. Paisley doesn't answer to her name...her real name, when they call to one addresses them as individuals there, so she doesn't even respond when her name is called. Sometimes neglect slaps you in the face, and sometimes it breaks your heart. Love you, friend. Praying Davis home every day.

meg duerksen said...

that is awesome.
he is so loved already.
it's so heart breaking when we think of the worlds problems. they are so BIG and i feel so small. but one dollar at time. one prayer at a time. one hug at a time.
we can help. someone. somehow.

Jason & Jaime Kelley said...

My heart aches for you tonight and all the little children... Thank you for sharing this deeply moving post.