Tuesday, September 11, 2012

parenthood!

adam braverman.

hey you.
adam braverman and parenthood is back.
it premiered tonight and i sat glued to the screen the entire time.
my eyes choked back tears several times throughout the show but especially when hattie yelled at her parents and said, "i had my moment with max, we bonded and it was awesome and he's so normal now!"
i'm adlibbing, but this is the jist of what she said.

i sat there, as it rolled into a commercial break, with my tears bubbling over.
will my older kids say this one day about ben?
how much do they notice his differences?
they already do notice, mostly because of his speech or lack thereof, but also in his behavior and the way we act towards him.
we try to treat him like the others but he's our baby, he's the one that gets away with everything and yes, sometimes it is just easier to give in to him.

note to self: tell ben no more often.  it's okay.  he'll be fine, promise.

and then came the end of the show, when hattie is walking away from her parents, getting on a plane, heading towards her future, what she thinks she wants, what she thinks she needs, and then she turns around and runs to them and the tears come.

and so did my own.
i felt...what they felt.
and that's the beauty of this show and these characters and this big messy family.

afterwards, i'm left with my own vulnerabilities.
see, this show makes my own insecurities bubble up to the tippy top and when the show stops, my mind takes over.

i think about ben, i think about how i want beyond all desires in this world for him to call out my name.
i think about josh and anna and how i pray they are not feeling left out or angry at me for devoting so much to ben.
i pray that they will know how much i adore them and how many times a day i think they are such special, unique beings.
i think about my own children growing up and leaving me and how hard that will be.
john and i are not prepared for that at all and i can't even fathom that right now.
i need to get through 5th grade math first.

am i just feeling emotional tonight or does this show really bring out some tough stuff?

oh this sweet, quirky lovely show.
it is my favorite.
all the tears, the red puffy eyes and racing mind...totally worth it.

what did you think of parenthood this week?




8 comments:

Kate Eschbach said...

Rule #1 - you still have to be my friend. You accepted my application.

Here goes: I haven't watched it... i have no idea.

BUT - as I wade through 1/2 a container of maple almonds, I completely and mostly understand.

Your raw and lovely heart is such a beautiful sight. (dang these almonds are good). Your children will call you blessed. Because. You give all of you. All. They know you and they love you and everything is ok.

Kimberlee said...

I haven't watched yet---but with PHOOD, tears are a given.

Love you!

hannah singer said...

we don't have "tv" , but i am hoping this is on netflix. i am a bit out of the loop with tv shows :)

listen, i love your thoughts here. so good, and great for me to ponder!

love.

beki said...

tears, for sure. even my husband teared up at the end.

love that show! i feel like an old friend has returned from a long trip and we're picking up right where we left off :)

Tracey Bower- Bower Studio said...

The scene in the restaurant totally hit home to me. Haven't we all had some variation of that happen at some point with kids? You just want a nice family meal out, and one kid starts losing it, voices are raised, people are looking...
That's why I love the show so much- it's real, and totally relatable.

meg duerksen said...

i thought it was awesome.
and i thought my heart broke into a million pieces watching them let their baby go. and that she is so tough and cool and then broke down....i hope for that break down someday but i don't think it will come. and that is why i cried. because i want that!!! it's tv. it's not real. but it is....so many people are just like that. so it gives us hopes for a life that has ups and downs but in the end family sticks together. i LOVE it. sigh....why can't it be 3 hours a week. like the Voice or Idol?? why do those crappy shows get all that time?

Lasso the Moon said...

I cried through the whole thing, too. I love that show! The part at the airport? Bawling. Felt everything. I'm glad you liked it, too. it always brings up tons of stuff for me too. I heard that they ad lib a lot on that show, and that's why the family time seems so chaotic--and real. (Like the restaurant? I was cracking up. With 6 kids in my family growing up, every meal was like that!) thanks for sharing your own take on it. I pray for your family a lot. Anna

Sandy W said...

@hannah singer, you can watch the show in its entirety on NBC.com. That is what I did because I missed it.

I loved the episode. As everyone else has said, that show is just so real!