Tuesday, September 11, 2012
adam braverman and parenthood is back.
it premiered tonight and i sat glued to the screen the entire time.
my eyes choked back tears several times throughout the show but especially when hattie yelled at her parents and said, "i had my moment with max, we bonded and it was awesome and he's so normal now!"
i'm adlibbing, but this is the jist of what she said.
i sat there, as it rolled into a commercial break, with my tears bubbling over.
will my older kids say this one day about ben?
how much do they notice his differences?
they already do notice, mostly because of his speech or lack thereof, but also in his behavior and the way we act towards him.
we try to treat him like the others but he's our baby, he's the one that gets away with everything and yes, sometimes it is just easier to give in to him.
note to self: tell ben no more often. it's okay. he'll be fine, promise.
and then came the end of the show, when hattie is walking away from her parents, getting on a plane, heading towards her future, what she thinks she wants, what she thinks she needs, and then she turns around and runs to them and the tears come.
and so did my own.
i felt...what they felt.
and that's the beauty of this show and these characters and this big messy family.
afterwards, i'm left with my own vulnerabilities.
see, this show makes my own insecurities bubble up to the tippy top and when the show stops, my mind takes over.
i think about ben, i think about how i want beyond all desires in this world for him to call out my name.
i think about josh and anna and how i pray they are not feeling left out or angry at me for devoting so much to ben.
i pray that they will know how much i adore them and how many times a day i think they are such special, unique beings.
i think about my own children growing up and leaving me and how hard that will be.
john and i are not prepared for that at all and i can't even fathom that right now.
i need to get through 5th grade math first.
am i just feeling emotional tonight or does this show really bring out some tough stuff?
oh this sweet, quirky lovely show.
it is my favorite.
all the tears, the red puffy eyes and racing mind...totally worth it.
what did you think of parenthood this week?
Posted by amy jupin at 10:51 PM