Thursday, July 10, 2008

what has made you bloom?

today, over at this blog, lisa asked her blog readers to answer this simple question: what is an experience in your life that has allowed you to bloom and become who you are? one of her readers wrote this beautiful and touching response and i wanted to capture it here. i am personally struggling with some of the same things so i found it to be poignant and well-written. i hope you do too.

"I am a perfectionist and I am the parent of two children with disabilities – a tough combination to reconcile. Without reservation, I love my children with all my heart -profoundly and unconditionally. My greatest challenge, however, has been to reconcile my mind with my heart. My mind is always in overdrive, it relentlessly confronts me with the decisions I have made and with visions of what could have been, what is, and what will be. I am not only a perfectionist, I am a thinker of the first order. It is a constant struggle for me to turn off my thoughts and simply allow my heart to rule.

Author, Anna Quindlen made the following observation: “The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” Indeed. I am learning to measure perfection in relation to my child’s capabilities rather than by my standards. I am learning to allow my children to be who they are, not who I would have them be. I am learning that happiness is not achieved through perfection but through acceptance. With a bit more difficulty, I am learning that to give up my demand for perfection does not mean that I have failed. Yes, I am learning to accept things as they are, rather than as I want them to be. While I may not have the “perfect” children I once dreamed of, I have four beautiful children who are perfectly happy being who they are. I can’t ask for anything more than that. I have learned."

1 comment:

nana said...

This is well said! It is difficult to tell someone what you want to say sometimes, and this mother said it all. Well written! Love to all and keep on smiling. God has given us so much. Nana