what has made you bloom?

today, over at this blog, lisa asked her blog readers to answer this simple question: what is an experience in your life that has allowed you to bloom and become who you are? one of her readers wrote this beautiful and touching response and i wanted to capture it here. i am personally struggling with some of the same things so i found it to be poignant and well-written. i hope you do too.

"I am a perfectionist and I am the parent of two children with disabilities – a tough combination to reconcile. Without reservation, I love my children with all my heart -profoundly and unconditionally. My greatest challenge, however, has been to reconcile my mind with my heart. My mind is always in overdrive, it relentlessly confronts me with the decisions I have made and with visions of what could have been, what is, and what will be. I am not only a perfectionist, I am a thinker of the first order. It is a constant struggle for me to turn off my thoughts and simply allow my heart to rule.


Author, Anna Quindlen made the following observation: “The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” Indeed. I am learning to measure perfection in relation to my child’s capabilities rather than by my standards. I am learning to allow my children to be who they are, not who I would have them be. I am learning that happiness is not achieved through perfection but through acceptance. With a bit more difficulty, I am learning that to give up my demand for perfection does not mean that I have failed. Yes, I am learning to accept things as they are, rather than as I want them to be. While I may not have the “perfect” children I once dreamed of, I have four beautiful children who are perfectly happy being who they are. I can’t ask for anything more than that. I have learned."