the details.

i snapped this pic outside of an antique store in kansas this weekend.
somehow it seems so appropriate for what i'm feeling right now.
my head is swirling.
i'm trying to weed through my memories and my words are having a hard time bubbling to the top.

when meg asked me to come to kansas, i was out of my mind excited.
meg is awesome.
her blog is one of my favorites.
and meeting her and going to her house felt like a dream come true.
i'm completely aware of how cheesy this all sounds. believe me.
but as much as i was excited, i was also nervous.
will i be able to fit in?
i'm afraid to sew ruffles!
what if i choke up and start to cry while talking about ben?
i thought of every excuse in the book.
and then i hit purchase and bought tickets anyway.

i needed this.
i needed to go and meet these ladies.
i wanted to make those crafts and hear their stories and get to know them.
i needed to put myself out there.
AND NOT BE AFRAID.
afterall, what is there to be afraid of really?

so i went.
and we crafted.



and i stayed in meg's house.
her amazing hundred year old home, oozing with charm and character and adorable handmade goodness.


i met these other women and they embraced me.
they lightened my heart with their stories.
they fed my body with such wonderful from-scratch goodies.


we spent a warm kansas january saturday antiquing and digging through amazing shops and barns chock full of the good stuff.
we oohed and ahhed over our finds and shared repurposing ideas.



we took turns holding baby cole so his mommy could create.
(and so we could feel the heaviness of a sweet-smelling, sleeping baby on our chests! what a lovely feeling!)


we listened to music and drank coffee and ate at all hours of the day and night.
it was energizing to see all the happy hands working.



the time spent together was nourishing.
we filled the house with laughter and tears.
we giggled and gasped and smiled and listened and nodded our heads.
there was a close sense of understanding. it was almost tangible.



we made ruffle pillows
and embroidery hoop art,
and flower necklaces.
(links to the tutorials are on meg's blog if you are so inclined.)


it's been a long time since i have felt so...peaceful.
i slept in past 8am.
i ate a warm meal--in one sitting.
i had time to drink several cups of coffee and enjoy it.
i lingered on meg's sofa, reading a magazine, warming myself in the sunshine like a cat.
it was so nice.


and oh yea, by the way, just to prove that i did actually do something, here is my embroidery art project.


and those intimidating ruffles i feared?
well, let's just say, done and done.

you don't control me, ruffles. take a hike. i'm at peace here, yo.
:)


i cannot wait for tank top and flip flop weather.
my necklace is going to look awesome.


this is quickly becoming the longest post in the history of ever so let me just say this:
meg, julie, ashley, amy d, kimberlee, heather, jess, cindy, jana:
i was delighted to learn that you are just regular ol' women.

please don't take that the wrong way at all.
in fact, i mean it quite the opposite!

what i loved the most about this weekend, and perhaps what i learned the most about this whole experience, is that we are all just people, we are all just women, trying to do our best as wives, as mothers, as daughters, as friends, as coworkers, as people.
we all have our fears and insecurities and pasts and presents and futures.
we all hope and dream and desire.
we all fall at the feet of Our Maker and beg for forgiveness.
we are just women.
and we are all rock stars, in our own right.

i feel so honored to be able to have met you all and i hope to be able to do this again soon.
you are all welcome to come to alabama any time!
we could all watch spacecamp and watch amy d freak out on the multi-axis trainer.
we could drink megaritas and eat heather's krispy krack.
we could get some awesome eyelash extensions and kimberlee could give us all massages.
and somewhere, in the midst of the laughter and tears, i would feel that feeling again.
this lingering peace that has filled my heart.

you have filled my heart.

love to you all.
i miss you already.