every day, i open my google reader account and browse through my favorite blogs.
i run through the list to see what catches my eye.
some are decorating blogs, some are foodie blogs, some from other down syndrome families, some other families adopting, some just a little bit of everything.
as i search through the blog titles, i find myself rushing to all the adoption blogs.
i can't help it.
i am drawn to them like a moth to a flame.
i find myself daydreaming about davis all the time.
like when i lay on the couch, curled up with anna, talking about our weekend.
i wonder, "will davis want to cuddle with me? does he have a caregiver who gives him attention like this? will he love being loved?"
like when i make lunch for the kiddos.
"will davis eat this? has he ever drank milk before? what is his favorite food?"
like when i fold the huge pile of clothes in the laundry room.
"i wonder what size clothes davis wears? will he be as big as ben? will they be able to share clothes? will he like this cute tee shirt?"
like when i make ben's bed and clean up his room.
"will davis need a crib? or will he sleep in a bed too? how should i rearrange the furniture in here? will ben like having a brother to sleep in his room with him? how will our sleep patterns change when davis comes home?"
like when i watch john and ben playing basketball in the driveway.
"will davis be able to walk? will he like to watch the other boys and chase the ball too? will davis giggle like ben?"
so many thoughts, so many daydreams, so many prayers running through my mind like a ticker tape.
it seems so hard to get anything done.
my mind is with him.
it's harder than i thought it would be.
and i haven't even gotten to the really hard part yet.